Naija Talk

Randomicity!!!

2011-10-03T12:37:00.003-05:00

It's been a minute since I ventured around on this medium, I can say I probably lost my blogging mojo or some other things kicked it down the list of priorities.

Its been a ride through the past years, months, weeks and days but what can I say but to Thank the Lord my God. God has been good in so many ways that I can't even start counting but just to keep giving thanks.Like one of the church song says "What shall I say onto the Lord, all I have to say is thank you God".

A lot of us take for granted a lot of things and we always think we are superman or have super powers. Just because you drink Alomo bitters does not mean you have super powers my friend.You have the super powers that you think you have just because God's mercies and grace abounds on your life.I listened to a message some years back and the message has always put me back into perspective when I do things and when things happen to me.The preacher said, most times that we do things or go through some things that other people go through and got scarred and we come out without any scars (physical,emotional,financial or even spiritual), and we think we are King Kong and wondering how we did it. It is because someone's grace and mercies somewhere is covering us or overflowing into our lives. Am sure a lot of people will be like what is he talking about.

Well I will use myself as an example.My mum is a christian and I can authoritatively say a prayer warrior.Every time I talk to my mum,before we end the conversation;the advise "make sure you pray and read your bible" must always enter the conversation.I always try as much as possible to talk to God as much as I can when I can, but my mum is all her children's attorney in front of God.She prays for all of us everyday,putting all our coming in and going out in his care whenever she can.

So my whole point is that somewhere, somehow, there is someone that wishes you well and prays for you and as long as the unconditional love is there for you in the person's heart, the grace and mercies that the person covers you with will still cover you even though you are obliged to tap into your own mercies and grace as well.

Anyway it was nice getting back on this medium for a minute and we will see how it will be sha...Let me leave you with a joke before I doughie outta here..

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,

'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard

'Jesus is watching you.'

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that Jesus is watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus, and

here he comes!

Nigeria @ 50- Day 7: Truth Or Dare!

2010-10-06T20:54:00.006-05:00

"Nigeria at 50, Day 6 - Tomi http://www.olaoluwatomi.blogspot.com/

Lot of times I have sat down and ponder on the situation in our once Great country Nigeria and mostly it’s usually about how we got to where we are.

When I have discussions with my friends and family about the situation, I get different perspectives about our where we are and where we are going in the country. I think the major issue we have in the country is that people don’t tell it as it is as long as they or their family is in Government, making money, living comfortably (Nigeria Standard) or collecting contracts and kickbacks from the government. We need to start by telling it as it is which is by accepting that nothing is getting better. We Nigerians, am sorry to say are hypocrites and I won’t say I am not guilty as well.

When I ask people how things are getting better in Nigeria, well they come up with statements like a lot of technology development has been achieved in the country and also a lot of foreign investors are in Nigeria now and yeah not really Nigeria but Lagos is better and the Lagos state Governor is doing great things and sooner or later the other states will take a cue from him. What are the great things he is doing that are making Lagos better will always be my next question. He did “some” roads, he is privatizing infrastructures so that they can be implemented etc.
So people are trying to tell me that a whole state government cannot fix and maintain a stretch of road but all they can do is lease it to an individual for 30yrs to make his money back from it.Lagos-Ibadan expressway has been leased to the an individual for the past 2yrs and he has not done anything on the road because he said he does not have money yet to fix it."Go figure" “Folks also come up with this excuse that actually pisses the pants off me that we always expect the government to do everything for us in Nigeria”

The first question I ask then is - Since majority of us are educated, it is very simple, “What is the definition of a Government?” gathering from all sources “A Government of a country, State etc is an entity comprising of people entrusted by the people to regulate the law, provide security and provide basic amenities (Health System, Education System, Electricity, Good Water & Good Roads) for the people that entrusted them there”. So looking at the Government of Nigeria, I really don’t see why we have one.

We have a lot of groups coming up that they are for the emancipation of the country from our failed leaders but the motives of the people in charge and interacting with the people in power cannot be determine. All we can do is urge and move along with them and see where the agenda lead us to. I had the opportunity to sit down and talk to a prominent woman whom I believe has enough wisdom to be able to advice about what is really happening in our country and she actually gave me a reality check about the situation.

She said and I quote “The generation leading us right now is very corrupt to its bones, and our generation (referring to my generation) is worse than the generation leading us now. Then the generation after us is worse than our generation”.

I sat down and thought about what she said and at a point I realized that she is right. The generation after our generation is the ones in primary and high school now and their drive and ambitions to be rich by any means is scary.

This same woman also said the greatest mistake we made in our country is that we allowed poverty to get to a level that to get back from that level will be a miracle and that at a point in time we stopped making the people we entrusted to lead us accountable but started making excuses for them.

Nigeria is a unique country on its own and I think we should stop trying to compare Nigeria to any other country. I always hear people comparing Nigeria to Ghana to which there is no basis of comparison in any aspect.

Accepting and telling how the situation is in the country is one of the major step for us to move forward as a nation.We have people in diaspora moving back to the country and talking about going back to help build the country,but none of these people move back to the country to go and serve and help build the already broken government.Nobody wants to serve as a civil servant right now but we expect the government to develop and move forward.

We already established that we don't have a maintenance culture in the country, so a lot of developed and repaired structures always end up the same way.Establishing a new technology in the country without the backbone to support this technology is not a way to develop or move the country forward.We always fail to build the foundation to support any new infrastructures that is being implemented because the government,people,foreign investor or entity that is implementing the infrastructure is just trying to make a quick buck as much as they can within a certain period of time.We always want to walk without crawling in Nigeria and this always set us back at the end of the day. Most of the time we as the citizens of the country get out priorities misplaced due to us trying to compete or meet up with the oppression from the other folks.

I am very sure some people reading this piece will be thinking that all I wrote about are just negatives about Nigeria, but the write-up is suppose to show how and what you feel about the situation in our country.Wish I could keep writing but I have to put up this post immediately.

The people of my country Nigeria is blessed in anyway you can ever imagine and that is the only reason we are still standing as far as I am concern and God has blessed the land with everything you can ever imagine.

"Nigeria at 50, Day 8 - Isha http://www.ishashotgist.blogspot.com

2010-03-22T15:56:00.006-05:00

Hey folks, I know it's been a minute since I have updated this medium, well it has been a little hectic for ya boy here. Work is still the same 'ol "Binsh" pardon me like ma UK folks will say and School is not letting up as well.just when you think you have a small breathing space "BAM" those 2 "Binshes" will just slip one on you and before you know it, you are on a long thing again.Well i am not going to lie sha, I have been having my own small jolly on the side with the little time I have been able to slip past those 2 "binshes".

Anyway what's been going down on this forum 'cos I have not been on here in a long minute mehn.....gone are the days when I was addicted to blogger like how some bad smell are addicted to farts...(Am sure a lot of people will be like ewwwwwww... to the last proverb wey i just drop...story like all of una no dey fart, if you say u don't fart oya say this prayer after me ..."God please block my fart hole for a week IJN Amen")

I was just listening to the song "Reminisce by Mary J. Blige" the other day and I remember when I first started blogging in October 2005.It was like a new outlet for me to free a little of my madness like Terry G said and some madness were freed o ..trust me...although all was for fun sha.I have met a lot of people through this medium and we are still friends as of today.....hmmm I am not sure if I really got to meet any foe on here although crase people plenty for here no be small ....but you know say when crase jam another crase wey carry like 3 crase for back like pikin,crase sef go cool down now. Its just like a lagos area boy bragging and shouting and dem come transfer the buffoon go Warri,Omo crase fit go meet better crase for road o.

Anyway like I was saying before the crase talk come enter my talk,I joined blogger in October 2005 and was very active till 2008, which was when a lot of crase anonymous started emerging. It was like dem just introduce internet for Aro that time and all the crase people just decide to be anonymous and start wahala on top blogger,but there were some really nice anonymous o,trust me I know quite a few.
I remember when we had the blogger bachelor and bachelorette show,it was fun back then sha...anyway before dem come chase me comot from this cybercafe say my money dan finish abi before "Yee eff cece" come arrest me join rogues say I be yahoo yahoo...make I throwway some joke to una side sha ..

Before I drop these jokes ..lemme put a disclaimer out here o ..
"NO BE ME FORM THESE JOKES IN ANY FORM OR FASHION O,SO IF YOU COME HERE AND START LEAVING COMMENTS THAT SOMETHING IS NOT MORALLY CORRECT OR ONE BOWL DO ONE PLATE SOMETHING- NA FOR YOUR POCKET BE THAT ONE"

Case of the Priest
A priest kept chickens at his village parish. One evening the cock went missing. During the evening mass the priest asked who has a cock. All the men got up.
No I meant who has seen a cock. All the women got up.
No no who has seen a cock that is not theirs. Half the women got up.
Oh for goodness sake. Who has seen my cock. ALL THE NUNS GOT UP.

Case of the Stupid people
A recently retired man went to d bank to cash in his life savings! The next day he was visited at home by armed robbers. They demanded the money, but he pleaded with them as it was all he had left. The leader of the robbers decided to be lenient and told him its either the money or he gets infected with hiv through blood been injected into his body. He asked for time to think about it, so he went into the room, came out after 5 mins and decided he would keep the money and get the hiv! After being injected, the robbers left.
He was ecstatic and started laughing to himself. His wife asked why the joyful expression as he had just been infected with an uncurable disease. He looked at her, laughed some more and replied : stupid people, they didn't know I was wearing a CONDOM!

Case of Ok now!
A boy comes home grinning from ear to ear and tells his parents he just had sex for the first time.
His proud dad was so happy that he told the boy he will buy the boy the bike he has been asking for to celebrate his new manhood experience when he gets paid next week.
The boy smiles and says " thats ok Dad, my arse is too sore to ride it yet anyway"

Case of who is who!
Youngest son asked his Dad "Dad whats the difference between potential and reality?"
Dad turned to his wife and asked her "would you sleep with Tom Cruise for $1million?"
Wife answered yes of cos..I would never waste such an opportunity!
Dad turned to his daughter "would you sleep with Will Smith for $2Million?
Daughter answered "Wow thats my fantasy of cos i will even without the money"
Dad turned to his eldeest son and asked if he would sleep with Denzel Washington for $1million.
Son answered of cos i would never hesitate!
Dad turned to his youngest son and said, you see son " PONTENTIALLY" we are sitting on $4million but in "REALITY" we are living with 2 prostitutes and 1 gay person.

Prayer is the key to everything o, so let us try and pray all the time just like this little girl in this picture is doing..

Ok folks I just see some people wey resemble my guys from Yee eff Ceecee now make I fade comot here ... Will try and keep this up o ...just pray for your guy sha ..

cashhh ya larra !!!

Got this from another Blog ....u can

2009-10-29T17:45:00.002-05:00

I don't do memes, but kinda like this one!

Have You Ever...?Stolen Anything: Hmmmmmm ....... who hasn't ...
Been Drunk Before Noon: College days was crazy is all i could say!
Had Sex In A Public Place: Hmmmmmmmm......
Got Caught Telling A Lie: Who Hasn’t?
Been Arrested: Got To The Station and was let go 'cos it was mistaken identity.
Littered: Story....tell me you've not.
Fantasized About A Co-Worker: Omo HR fit dey read this arena
Cheated On A Test: Well ...depends on what you call cheating...is spying cheating?
Failed A Class: Never. well a lecturer failed me back then 'cos he thought I was dating a chic he wanted to get with.
Screened Your Phone Calls: Duh!
Eaten Food Off The Floor: Why not!
Stuck Gum Under A Desk: Everybody has done that jo!
Wished You Were Someone Else: I’m Thinking, ...Myself
Cried During A Movie: Getting Teary Eyed Is Not Quite Crying, Is It?
Had A One Night Stand: I plead the 5th!
Had To Pull Over On The Side Of The Road To Puke?: Not to puke o but to take a nap!
Had Your Heart Broken?: ...yes o .....
Had A Good Feeling About Something?: of cos!
Had A Near Death Experience: Yup, Car accident and a lot more near miss.
Swam In Freezing Water: for why!
Jumped Off A House: yes o..in college from the top floor of the SUB(Naija college)
Been Attacked?: Yes o ....which bobo wey grow up in naija has not!
Bungee Jumped: The Price Is Yet To Be Right
White Water Rafted: Like that's a sport or recreational activity.....well not challenging enuff.
Pulled An All Nighter?: Yes for exams!
Surfed: I'm Not Even Interested
Lied About Your Age: Nah...for why!
Broken A Bone?: NEVER but sprain some parts of my body.

Na Wah o !

2009-10-05T13:24:00.005-05:00

Hey folks, I know its been a minute since I put an update up on this space. Not my fault but you know, as in, like that, this guy right here has to work, pay bills and survive.
Anyway been working and doing a little bit of traveling as well and one of the traveling confirmed to me that identity theft,yahoo yahoo, 419 etc or any other name you want to give it is worldwide jere.

I went to the Dominican Republic early September and I must say the place is lovely. Nice beaches everywhere and nice people as well.Dominican Republic shares an island with Haiti, so it is one of the biggest island in the Caribbean.The Dominican Republic was colonized by the Spanish although the island was discovered by Christopher Columbus and the capital of Dominica Republic, Santa Domingo was said to be the first capital of Spain in the New world.Anyway enough of the history lesson.
I had major fun on the island although the heat no get part II sha. All you want to do is just stay in the ocean or the swimming pools or inside with the AC.

So on to my issue, I made a charge on my Amex in Puerto Plata which is the city I went to for $98 and was assure that only $99 will be charged on my card but never the less, I saw a charge of $99.99. I did not make a fuss 'cos it is just $1.99 abi.Well I did not know that was a test,'cos 2 weeks after I got back, I was just about to leave work and remembered that I needed to make the payment on the Amex card.So I logged into my account online and noticed that my line of credit was low.So I picked up the phone,called America Express to chew them up for reducing my line of credit.So a chic picked up the phone and I already started going off about them reducing my line of credit,then the chic said they did not do anything of the such but that I have a charge pending on my account, so that is why my line of credit is showing that amount
I first of all roll the dice in my brain to figure out if I made any charge on the card but all I could get was double 6.So I asked her to please tell me what the charge was for,how much and where it is been charged.The chic went ahead and told me that there was a charge for $1800 been charged in the Dominican Republic for a 1 week vacation Presidential hotel suite in Panama city,Panama.See me see trouble o, me sef that owns the card has never been to Panama or have any plans of visiting Panama anytime soon and someone is charging up my card there for a Presidential suite not even a normal room.So first of all I calmed down and told them (no be me) and that my card is here in front of me and I have no plans whatsoever to visit Panama anytime soon. So they got me the fraud department and canceled the card and UPS another one to me.Well as of right now they said they are still investigating the charge and all that rubbish and that I won't be charged a finance fee for the amount, 'cos the amount is still showing on my account and they said they won't be able to put it back until their investigation has been concluded. I told them no wahala that I understand since my name is not John Doe,but Omogbagi Omosare so they don't need to believe me. If they like they can come and post a detective in front of my house to follow me everywhere to see if I made it to Panama sef na their wahala as long I am not liable for that amount and I am not been charged for the finance fee, am good.

Apart from that everything has been good except work, which is still its normal binsh self but am getting it under control as usual 'cos work scarce out there and the word bills is not going anywhere.You can imagine that I have been working non-stop for the past two weeks, I mean night and day on a rubbish project which they termed priority and has to go into production by 30th of September. Guess what, we are still testing in that same production as of now, abi no be the plan be that,it must enter Production by 30th of Septemeber which I did put into Production before then.

Anyway folks,I get on meeting now and even hunger is knocking on the doors of my stomach right about now.So I have to call into a meeting and at the same time go look for something to eat.

Casshhhh ya larrer folks

Lemme humor you with this caption I got from a co worker ..

“Sure Wish Somebody Would Invent Something To Keep The Sun Out Of My Eyes."

I LUV MATHEMATICS - Check out this video ........LOLOLOLOL .....

You Can't Fix Stupid

Yours Truly

2009-08-22T19:29:00.003-05:00

Howdy fellow blogheads, been a long minute since I have been on here. Been a little busy and also trying to put a post up has been feeling like too much work.

Anyway don't let me bore you to death with my rantings.

I kinda got the inspiration to update my blog today because of someone that casted their fishing rod to catch a fish and caught one and hoping they would eat the fish or not .......lolol......am sure you guys are thinking in your head WTH is this buffoon talking about. Well it's all a riddle for now jere .....

Back to the koko, well I hung out with a bunch of my co workers yesterday and kinda noticed a couple of stuffs going on with some of them. Ok let me start by telling you about some of them.

I have a guy I work with who is like on the same level with my manager but I don't work for him. He is one of the people I hang out with down here and he is cool. There is a chic that works with us too and it is very obvious that the chic has the hots for the bobo and the bobo won't mind shagging the chic but the bobo no sabi how to go about it without dating the chic. The bobo is a little slow in that department when it comes to that sha make I no lie.Anyway this chic has a roommate who also for a weird reason like the bobo somehow somehow.Am sure you are already feeling the drama in all this abi. Well me I am kinda like an instigator and wahala stirrer when it comes to this kind of drama because I like movies and TV well well. So everytime I hang with them I am always bringing something up that will cause the 3 of them to collide just for the fun of it sha cos it's always fun to watch them all together.

Anyway the roommate's birthday was yesterday and she sent an invite out to come party with her at a nearby restaurant slash bar/club sha.So me looking at the list of invitees I knew I was having fun either way ni sha.

It sort of happens that the dude in the middle of all this rukus now got himself a fine long leg chic from one of these European countries sha, the chic fine pass the 2 chics having sleepless nights cos of the dude o.So me myself and I now convinced the dude to invite his new chic out to the birthday gig o just to cause rukus now.The guy in his right mind would not have thought of doing that cos he also enjoys the attention he gets from these 2 chics but he does not know how to go about doing what he has to do sha.

Anyway I got to the venue and a whole bunch of them were already there cos I had to finish of some stuffs at work late. So we started partying it up like rockstars o and you know that oyinbo people after a few drinks the crazies starts coming outta them.Well the drama started as usually after yours truly did some instigating and getting them to do what they normally do.Then Gbam!!! the new player got introduced into the game when the dude's new girlfriend entered the parrrryyyy o.

Anyway the long and short of the story is that the chic that works with us figured nothing for her or probably the alcohol kicked some sense into her and she became the dude's girlfriends paddy but the roomie who's birthday it was did not know what to do, so she proceeded to go ahead and get shitface(get drunk). It was a funny but not so funny sight to watch and the good thing about it is that the dude's girlfriend was all matured about the whole thing. I guess 'cos she knows she owns the meat now and can dangle it in their faces...lol

Anyway yours truly did not wake up till like 10.15am today and had to jump on a radio talk show which was fun sha. Plan for today was to have a me time o with activities lined up.Plan was to go to the gym,jump in the pool after, then go to the golf range to practice some new stuffs I just saw that my man Tiger Woods did recently and then end up at the shooting range to do some target practice. Well I was able to get to the gym and jump in the pool before the rain started, so golf range and shooting range was out of the question, so I ended up staying indoors all day. Had some pounded yam and banga soup and watch TV all day. Think I might be going to a bachelor's party for a co worker that I got invited to later tonight sha.

Well peeps I think I need to go jump in the bathroom or something but peeps can you tell me what you think about this wrist watch o ....cos am a sucker for wrist watches and shoes.

I SWEAR!!!!

2008-10-03T13:39:00.008-05:00

Hey peeps longest time, am sure a lot of you guys already gave up on me on this blog thingy. Well it's not my fault o,busy is an understatement here o. Am sure you will be wondering what the title of this post is referring to.I was kuku jejele going through my mp3 files and saw the song "I swear by All 4 One" and I started wondering what all men were actually thinking about when singing that song to their Girlfriends back then(abi u wan talk say u no sing or write am out as a letter). I attached the video to the song on here for my newbies 'cos I know the old school peeps will know the song.

I was going through my normal rounds of reading news online o when I saw these pic of some African Leaders at the UN summit that was just completed and I was wondering if some of them flew coach down to New York ni that they could not sleep on the plane, abi the topic been discussed was "How to stop corruption in African Nations" or too much faaji(partying) happened the night before(you know how we get down now).

I also got this pictogram from one of my friends o, I did not draw this o(This is a disclaimer o).... I GOT IT FROM A FRIEND WHO PROBABLY GOT IT FROM A FRIEND"S FRIEND.

I was looking through some of my old emails as well and found this list of proverbs that I got a little while back and decided to educate you guys a little on proverbs.

A fool and his money............Na guy man best friend
A friend in need..............No go meet me for house
A penny saved.............Na half a penny tomorrow
As you make your bed.............Na so you go lay your mat too
Don't cry over spilt Akamu
Early to bed and early to rise..........Na Ministry you dey work be that
If at first you don't succeed..........Make you use another passport
From frying pan...............to belle
When in Rome.............No do as Bini babes dey do oooo

Who no know, e go know
He who lives in a glass house....... Na im pepper rest
A stitch in time...... .. dey prevent further tear tear.
Birds of the same feather.......na the same mama born dem.
One good turn.... ..... na correct power steering be that.
A bird in hand...... . wetin e wan be again if no be barbeque.
Half bread....... ... is better than buns.
Journey of a thousand miles....... Ol'boy carry your car go o
He who laughs last........ na mumu. Why im no catch the joke at the first
time and laugh when others dey laugh?
The patient dog........ Na hunger go kill am.
All work and no play......Nabanker be dat
All play and no work...... Abeg na real life be dat. After all, u no see as
u dey happy wen dem declare holiday.

The other thing I wanted to vent about is how do some people come up adverts for products on TV,'cos I have seen some adverts that I was still clueless about what it was all about 2mins after. Check out this advert and let me know what you think..

Then I got this video from a colleague at work and could not stop laughing o, so I decided to share it with you guys.

Anyway I need to get back to what am getting paid for here even though it's friday. You guys have a nice weekend and I will try and update this space more often.

WOW!!! Catching ma Breath!!!

2008-07-17T15:10:00.009-05:00

Ma peeps, men its been a while since this medium has been updated.It's not my fault jere, it's the ups and down of trying to make a living and while also trying to make yourself better. Work as been a BEESH(Warri accent).

Anyway I have been doing alright and thanks to a million and one friends that have been bugging me to update forever.At least I know some people still check up on me.

I just though I will go ahead and update with a few jokes and picture jokes like I do atimes 'cos I have some that I can't just wait to share.....

One of my friends sent me this joke today -

MEN VS WOMEN
HER DIARY
------------ ------
Dear Diary,

My husband is acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long and I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so, I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk; he agreed but he kept
quiet and seemed kind of absent minded. I asked him what was wrong - he said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love U,too.' When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there and watched TV.; he seemed distan. Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is gonna be a disaster.
___________ _________ _________ _

HIS DIARY
==========
Today Manchester lost the final match Against Arsenal.

DAMN IT.

Simplicity of Men
Vs
Complexity of Women !!!

I SAW THIS ON A WEBSITE I CAN'T REALLY REMEMBER WHICH ONE!!!
News Flash -- Idiots sightings!!!

IDIOT SIGHTING :
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two..'

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back$1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING :
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

From Kingman , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE :
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce..' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.

From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING :
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied , 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded,
'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING :
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING :
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in -the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING :
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING :
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealer ship to pick up our car, w e were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctivel y tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE KIDS!!!

Got this joke from a friend ...
The absolute best Little Johnnie joke
Little Johnnie's neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born
without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital,
Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their
house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby
had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything
about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the
smacking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnnie told his dad he
understood completely. When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, 'What a
beautiful baby'.The mother said, 'Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.' Johnnie
said, 'He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute
little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see? ''Yes', the mother
replied, 'we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20
vision. ''That's great', said Little Johnnie,'cuz he'd be fucked if he needed
glasses'

This is for you ma peeps that sleep off @ Work

FIVE BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK:

NUMBER 5: "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."

NUMBER 4 : "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time-management course you sent me to."

NUMBER 3 : "Whew!? Guess I left the top off the White-out. You probably got here just in time!"

NUMBER 2: "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"

And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk: (Raising your head slowly) "... in Jesus' name, Amen"

HERE ARE SOME PICTURE JOKES!!!

Omo the only thing someone saw in this pic is the gas prices..Can you Imagine!!!
This was a plane crash in LA 8yrs Ago

You can imagine after dinner @ a Chinese restaurant and you crack the fortune cookie!!

This is one of the times ma peeps will say before nko!!! .... I go pass you for road if care is not taken sef.

So who come get right of way now ....LASMA help us decide!!!

And last but not the least ma peeps ..... na some people talk this one o,no be me o!!!

The Beauty of Maths

2007-09-06T15:06:00.000-05:00

Beauty of Math!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=123456789 87654321

Now, take a look at this...

101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:

H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K
8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E
11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E
1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

YOU NEED TO CHECK OUT THESE VIDEOS....
__._,_.___

Have a nice weekend peeps....

Men!!! We are special..Y'all Know

2007-08-29T12:21:00.000-05:00

Ma peeps,whatz crackalacking? Been an hour jere, not ma fault just trying to pay ma bills.I actually have a lot to blog about but at this very moment,I can't really think straight.Maybe I have to start putting stuffs down when I remember them,like I was telling a friend who was complaining about her husband not remembering their anniversary date.I told her when it gets to some point in a man's life,you need to buy extra memory and add it to the man's memory 'cos we tend to run slow when it comes to those kind of issues,like remembering birthdays,anniversaries,bill due dates,doctor's appointments,time etc.

For example you ever wonder why a lot of us(men)turn out the way we are?Take a look at this pictures.You can really see it is not our fault that much

So beware trying to get your husband to babysit or raise,cos you don't know what really goes on during that time...LOL

Boys will read more

Kids will be able to express their emotions more

Potty Training ke.... More like target training

Nuthn like chasing the kids around for bedtime,a pint does the trick

Check out some everyday T-shirts for the boys

Let me leave you with a joke before I go back to my day job.

Bibles
A pastor concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles.
While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new
bibles that had never been opened and distributed.

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation
who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to
raise the desperately needed money for the church.

Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.
The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen
and were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious
doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to
himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment.

Poor Louis stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Louis, the
minister decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked
with bibles.

He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door
selling efforts the following Sunday.

Eager to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked
Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?"

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales
prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on
behalf of the church."

"Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are
indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."

Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the church
last week?"

Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied," I am a
professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and
here's $280 I collected."

The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are
truly a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you."

Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did you
manage to sell any bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister
a large envelope.

The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?" the
minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that
you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?"

Louie just nodded. That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison
We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many
bibles as we could"

"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd better
explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."

Louie shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f- f-f-for
sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.

Impatiently, Paul interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us
what you said to them when they answered the door!"

"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied , "W-w-w-w-would
y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible
f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just
l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t- to
y-y-you??"

Lemme jeje go back to work,'cos e be like say this mammal of an oga wey I get dan join winch people.Everytime I just decide to take a break and relax, na email I go see from the mammal.Be like say he no dey sleep sef, cos the time difference is 5hrs and the mammal dey send emails anytime of the day.

Listen to the song playing on the sidebar o!!!
Have a lovely rest of the week peeps and enjoy your coming long weekend for my US peeps(Londonbuki in ya face)..LOL

Catch some Laffs

2007-07-31T19:15:00.000-05:00

Hey ma peeps,been a minute jere.Na this work wey person dey do o.
Thanks to peeps that have been checking on me jere.
Anyway I just have a some pics and a video for you,just a lil' something to make you smile and you can laff as well if you need to 'cos I did when I saw the videos.

MY IBO GUY

After a long period of silence an Ibo guy phones his good pal and the following conversation ensued....
Chike: Nna.. How now??, long tam no see you!
Chidi: Nna, I just dey o. Wetin dey happen now ?
Chike: I jus dey.. Ah beg, I need your hep for sontin...
Chidi: (grumbles) Na wetin?
Chike: Ah won borrow small money from una
Chidi: Hello? Hello? I can't hear u well o
Chike: I say ah need small money from una
Chidi: Hello? Hello? ..dis line no clear o..
Chike: (yelling into the phone) Ah say come borrow me small money abeg!
Chidi: Hello? Hello??, I still can not hear you!
(The phone operator now butts in).. He said he wants you to borrow him money!
Chidi: NNA YOU WEY HEAR AM WELL GIVE AM THE MONEY NOW! (foolish operator.. shiooo..)

Dumb 911 Calls

Funny DUI Arrest

You think Okada men are crazy in Naija,U ain't see nuthn until you see these pics.
These Okada pics made me remember one bad experience I had on an okada when I was still doing fineboy around Port harcourt o.
Na jeje I talk say make I go arrange some Martinik fried rice and chicken in D-line(for peeps that know Port Harcourt well) before hunger kill your guy o.So I decided to hike an okada 'cos of traffic.So I chartered the okada to take me and bring me back to my office o,on our way back there was an oil spill from an oil tanker on one of the roads,na so the stupid okada man wan do James Bond o and instead of him to slow down,men thatz how me,myself and I,the okada man and the okada did some serious stunt for road o.Men the only thing that saved us that day was that there was no car coming from the opposite side of the road and all the practice I had undergone with my brother and cousins from watching too many movies.To now make matters worse,this incident now happened right in front of one ashewo joint on that road and all the deads(prostitutes) were already out in full force.Men come and see them making fun of your guy,that was one of the most embarrassing time of my life o.I did not even feel the pain of the small bruises I got 'cos all I wanted to do was to fade comot for there.The food sef I did not know who escaped with the food after the incident.

You guys have a nice rest of the week and God bless

Bringing My Guy to the Mic

2007-07-04T19:11:00.000-05:00

My peeps it's 4th of July on this side of the planet and guess what yours truly did all through today,well your guess is as good as mine.Yours truly did laundry all day after like 5weeks and the only reason why the laundry just had to happen today was cos yours truly was out of boxers and actually had to run to the store 2 days ago to get boxers o.

Yours truly had to go act like a butter again today o.I can't remember ever buying a liquid detergent before o,cos man pickin has been used to OMO and Elephant Blue detergent from Naija days,so liquid detergent has always been a NO NO and yours truly don't really do laundry jere.So today I got to the store and I guess I was feeling too good with myself and decided to buy Tide liquid detergent o and guess what,the $13.85 liquid detergent did not make it out of the laundry room.I am still trying to figure out how people use that thing.

Looking at people running around with fireworks brought back memories of "BANGER" days back mehn.I remember one xmas that my neighbors in Naija decided to have a banger war with us and unfortunately for them we had a bunch of my cousins over the the holiday.We ended up spending all the money we saved up,begged for and tif(yes I said tif,tell God to slap you if u did not tif money when u were small for stupid things) on Banger or knockout.The D-day for the war was set for 9pm boxing day after we got back from the amusement park or something.After emptying the bangers and knockouts out of their packs,we had like a full bucket of ammunition.Anyway after the battle,I can pretty much tell you that we ended been in deep shyte.

Well going back to the title of my post today.I have one of my high school friends here.This guy has been trying to rap since we were in high school in Naija and his rap name then was "Skenti B",but is real name is Lanre.We had fun back in the days anyway and really got into a trouble or two back then as well.This guy is a pharmacist now and based in Buffalo NY,but he is still trying to make his mark as well as an artist.I heard some of his songs is now been played on radio and TV stations back in Naija.

Please show him some love and you can always let him know what you feel about his songs.He has a couple of songs and he actually did one song for one chic he had a crush on when we were in Primary school till we left high school which he titled in the chic's name "Yewande"Here are some of his videos and he is going to be shooting a couple of his other videos in Naija this August.

Want you Back------Lanre

Yewande ----- Lanre

Too Strong ----------Lanre

You can check out his myspace official website here

I got a comment about a new blog that has a listing of all the Naija blogs,it's a good avenue to get to a lot of Naija blogs.Check it out Here

Am signing outta here for a minute my peeps,take care and happy independence day to my peeps in yankee.Peace!!!

Heard D'banj will be in MD on Thursday 5th of July between 6pm to 9pm at
Peju's Restaurant and Lounge,1724 Woodlawn Drive Baltimore,MD 21244
No cover charge and it's strictly 21 and over Dress code proffesional,grown and sexy
for more info call 410 493 2799 443 415 2243.

So all y'all Naija star stuck peeps can check him out there o

HOW HAVE U GUYS BEEN?

2007-06-28T07:05:00.000-05:00

Hey ma peeps, sorry I have been MIA for a minute. Well just have to say I am just trying to do what I have to do at the right time o.Anyway I have been good though.

I don't really have any major gist for you guys,except that I have this couple staying below my apartment and they have 3 big dogs o and their balcony is just right by the stairs.These 3 crazy dogs always try to grab you when you are climbing the stairs and I jokingly told the guy one day that if any of his dogs do mistake bite me peren,I dan become millionaire for America be that o and he was laughing,the buffoon think am joking,cos I have been thinking of ways to become a millionaire quick quick o,with the exception of yahoo yahoo and armed robbery o.You see there is this chic in my office that got hit by someone in an accident o and after the chic fight for court finish,she got paid some mega bucks o,cos she bought her house cash down,bought a brand new Murano cash down,bought a brand new car for her mum and brother cash down and still had some money invested o,but the only scoin scoin(make I use blogger word) is that she was kinda put back together like a jigsaw puzzle after the accident o.

Am feeling Eldee's video this week jere,so you can check it out on the sidebar.

Anyway I was telling one of peeps that I be certified warri boy,but she no believe so I just talk say make I publish the some job offers which we are actually trying to hire folks for,so if your resume fit any of the jobs or you know somebody that know somebody,you can refer them.

Our client, a Niger Delta Militant Group with branches
in strategic locations throughout all the six
South-South states of Nigeria is seeking to expand its
operations to Abuja, the Federal Capital territory.
This expansion has brought about vacancies for
qualified and experienced young officers.

The positions are:

Area Head, Kidnapping:
The successful applicant who will report to the
Executive Council, and the Executive Director, Abuja,
is expected to possess the following competencies:

1) Minimum of 10 years experience in militant
agitation. (Membership of Al-qaeda, Hamas or other
similar organization will be an added advantage)

2) Fluent knowledge of Hausa, Ijaw, English, Italian
and German

3) Expert ability to distinguish between Oyinbos and
Albinos

4) Ability to swim in deep waters

5) Ability to recognise fake/marked naira notes by
sight

6) Ability to easily recognise all Senators and
Ministers of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Evidence of previous successful kidnap of BIG MEN must
be provided (pictures preferable)

Photographer:
1) Minimum of 5 years experience taking photos in war
zones. (Domestic fights do not qualify as war zones
for these purposes)

2) Proficiency in the use of explosives as camera
lighting.

3) Knowledge of the different skin tones of
expatriates, as an aid to taking high-quality
pictures, is a must.

4) Proficiency in the use of Adobe Photoshop, and
Internet photo uploading software is a must.

Please include a portfolio of previous photo-samples
(must contain kidnapped persons OR be taken in
war-zones OR be nightshots in blackspots like Oshodi,
3rd Mainland bridge, Apongbon, etc)

Militant Trainee:

1) Candidates must be between the ages of 13 and 50,
be at least 4m tall, and may be male or female.

2) Minimum of Nursery School/Kindergarten certificate.

3) Jobless university graduates, and serving policemen
will be given special consideration.

4) Possession of jungle boots and face mask is a must.

5) Preference will be given to persons with knowledge
of foreign European languages, and persons with the
ability to swim.

Renumeration:

Very attractive, competitive, and comparable with
industry standards (payments in foreign currencies).

Official guns, boats and grenades will be provided.

Excellent training, involving offshore secondment
(Iraq , Afghanistan etc) from time to time

Regular appearance on CNN, Alaaroye, Time Magazine,
The Economist and other International magazines.

Excellent networking opportunities with Nigerian
politicians, oil magnates, and foreign businessmen.

Interested applicants should forward their
applications and detailed curriculum vitae within two
weeks to: militant_recruitment@OsamaConsulting.com

I also read online last week that OBJ was stoned in Abeokuta by people when he went for a function o from some reliable sources.Well someone decided to give OBJ a report card to take home to momma o ..

PRESIDENTIAL OFFICE LEAVING CERTIFICATE:
NAME OF STUDENT: Aremu Mathew Okikiola Olusegun Obasanjo

CLASS: Aso Rock Villa

YEAR OF GRADUATION: May 29th 2007

SUBJECT SCORE GRADE

1. Energy 12% F9

2. Agriculture 19% F9

3. Education 17% F9

4. Poverty Eradication 5% F9

5. Telecommunication 50% C5

6. Human Right Abuse 75% A3

7. Globe Trotting 100% A1

8. Fuel Price Hike 175% A1+

9. Reforms 40% C6

10. Fighting Corruption 20% F9

11. Transparency 9% F9

12. Accountability 12% F9

13. Credible Election 2% F9
14. Crime fighting 10% F9

15. Women Affairs 200% AAA

REMARK: Outstanding! No resit please.

PERFORMANCE: YOU BE THE JUDGE.

……………………………
SIGNED: NIGERIANS

Take it easy ma peeps and you guys have a lovely weekend.

The Nigerian Proclamation

2007-05-28T22:23:00.000-05:00

The transition into the second democracy government in Nigerian history is taking place today the 29th of May 2007 and to me it seems the masses of this great country are been put into another 8 years of slavery and misery.Do we really have what is called democracy or what word can we use to qualify what is going on in Nigeria with the outcome of the just concluded elections.

With the question I keep asking people "why does a country have an entity with a title Government?" From my understanding of what we were taught while in school,read in books and also taking cues from other countries,a government is suppose to enforce rules and laws within a country,state etc.A government is suppose to be able to provide or see to it that the appropriate entity that is responsible provides basic amenities to its citizens like good drinking water,good roads etc.

One of my Professors said something one day that "a country where one of the most expensive thing to get is food is not a country" and I thought about Nigeria as a country.Having a job in Nigeria of today does not mean you will be able to feed your family or put clothes on your back and what can be sad than that.

The government announced that Nigeria will be acquiring 2 more satellites by 2010 and Nigeria is thinking about building a Nuclear reactor by 2015 and I ask myself if the people that think of such things are actually insane or what.What will happen to the country if people like the Niger delta fighters get their hands on the uranium alone not to talk of the number of people that could die from our mismanagement of the toxic waste from the nuclear plants?What happened to Nigeria having stable electricity by 2010,Nigeria having good roads by 2010,Good drinking water for Nigerians by 2010,revitalization of the education system in Nigeria by 2010 etc.

I used to call it misplaced priorities, but I think it is just the greediness and selfishness of some people that we trusted with the running of the country.I know a lot of people will not agree to this,by saying that this is actually helping Nigeria in the area of development,look at the people or the country as a whole and you can decide on what development is.

Nigeria is so full of great minds and talented people,but the minds and talents are been killed even before it is manifested.I remember when I was in school,that I had a guy in my class that could develop Java applications in as much as we don't even have a computer in the computer science department of one of the premier Universities in Nigeria,but I guess who cares.I know a couple of dull people that could not survive the rigorous educational path that people go through in Nigeria,but go to other countries to get a certificate and go back to run companies in Nigeria while some of the smartest people in the world that got their certificates in Nigeria and did not have the opportunity to go out of the country are either low lifes or don't even have a job back home.

We need to make people accountable like the proclamation said,but ...........

Nigeria for life

Click on this link to read the proclamation.

Some Readings to Make you Smile a Little

2007-05-22T17:24:00.000-05:00

Peeps am back jere,been hectic for a while but I thank God.Just said I should give you guys something to make you laugh a little.......

SPOOKY BUT RIGHT ON THE TARGET!!!!!!!!!
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

It takes less than a minute.
Work this out as you read
....
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked
it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's
fun.
1. First of all, pick the number of times a
week that you would like to have sex -(more than once but less than
10)!
2. Multiply this number by 2
(just to be bold)
3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add
1757.If you haven't, add 1756.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number ( I.e., how many times you want to do it each week.)

The next two numbers are

YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2007) IT WILL EVER WORK,SO TRY IT THIS YEAR O!!!

The Guys speak:

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

4. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

5. Crying is blackmail.

6. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

8.. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.

10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

11. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

12. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

14. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

15. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

16. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

18. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

20. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .

22. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as SEX, CARS, the shotgun formation,
or BASKETBALL.

23. You have enough clothes.

24. You have too many shoes.

25. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

26. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni- kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn- ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
AND;

He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.

He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
She said ...... . . They already have boyfriends.

She said...What do you call a women who knows where her husband is every night?
He said . . . A widow.

He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

I GOT THIS FROM A FRIEND O

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving.

Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and
asks, "What's going on?"

"Militants have kidnapped Goodluck Jonathan, Chris Uba, OBJ, Peter Odilli and Yar'aduwa. They're asking for a $500 million ransom. Otherwise they're going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire. We're going from car to car, taking up a collection."

The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?"

"About a litre."

Nuthn Dey Pa

2007-04-30T22:15:00.000-05:00

Eyin peeps mi,werin dey? Am sure a lot of people will be wondering what happened to this bombastic element of a person,well na my fault a little sha.Na jeje work siddon wey I go wake am make we play,although the play na good experience o,but my butt is getting kicked big time.Anyway don't let me bore you with my rantings.

Nuthn has been really going on with me for a while o,just trying to deal with work and reading at the same time for some exams.Men I just realized that reading for an exam after you've stopped for a while is a binch,cos I have been reading for one exam like that and it has been like putting water in a basket y'all.Atimes I just stare at a page and trying to figure out what I need to do and sometimes I wonder what was on the page that I just finished reading.I decided to start going to the bookstore(Barnes & Noble) to read o,and the starbucks store inside the bookstore no gree me read o.The smell of the cakes,cookies etc was just distracting person coupled with the kain cold air that was blowing from the air condition unit in that bookstore.

I saw a picture that I just had to share with you guys.I dan tire for all this evolution sef.You can imagine this oyinbo people had to always try and outdo themselves sha ...

Well lemme just leave you guys with some jokes for the road like I always do.

Things You Shouldn't Ask Your Mother...

Seven year old Susie approached her mother one morning and asked, "Mommie how old are you?" To which her mother responded, "Now Susie, that is not a question you should ask a woman."

Susie then replied, "Well, how much do you weigh?" Once again her mother said, "Susie that is another question you never ask a woman."

Perplexed, Susie was sitting on the steps when her best friend eight year old Anna came by. "Why so sad?" Anna asked. Susie replied, "I asked my mother how old she was, and how much she weighed, but she wouldn't tell me."

Immediately, the ever worldly Anna put her hands on her hips, lilted to one side and advised Susie to get her mother's drivers license out of her purse and she could get all the answers.

Triumphantly, Susie marched into the kitchen where her mother was preparing dinner and announced, "I saw your driver's license, and know you are 35 years old." She continued with, "And I know you weigh 135 pounds."

Susie's mother sighed and admitted to her age and weight.

Finally Susie exclaimed, "And...I know why you and Daddy got a divorce." Puzzled by this remark her mother asked, "How do you know this?"

Susie waved the license in the air, and replied:

"It says right here you got an "F" in sex!!"

I also got this facts of life from a friend too..

Fact 1: You cannot touch all your teeth with your Tongue
Fact 2: After reading the first fact, all fools try it.
Fact 3: Fact 1 is false Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha..................
Fact 4: Now u are laughing !!! bcoz u became a fool !!!
Fact 5: you want to fool ur friends also..

Got to sign out here folks,I found these 2 songs by P-Square songs(Mako Fiesta and Kolo) and am feeling them right now.Just leave your email address if you want me to send you any of the songs that I have posted on here.

Reminisces

2007-04-13T06:34:00.000-05:00

Am sorry guys that I have not updated in a while,it's just been a lil' busy for ur guy down here o.Work is really kicking my butt that when I have a me time like this,na like public holiday in naija o.All I just want to do is just lay on the bed sipping on some some,watching movies and staring at my laptop from a distance.

Guys you need to listen to the 1st song I have playing on here titled "Naija Girls",dude is funny with the lyrics.Am still trying to find out who sang the song o.The second song is titled Bete Bete by Raghav...The guy is I heard the guy was big in Europe in 2005..The songs are part of a mix CD I got on my last trip to Naija.

Anyway back to the title of my post today,I called "Iya Ibeji" (thatz what I call my mum whenever am trying to report any of my siblings to her) and asked her what she got planned for my dad's remembrance which is coming up and she said all she needs us to do is fast and thank God for his favors,mercies and grace over the years.I lost my dad when I was 12yrs old and it was pretty tough when it happened cos I was very close to my dad although I got a heap load of whoopings on top the paddy paddy with the man.

I remembered when I was in primary school and I was feeling like a "G".Normally when all those uncles,aunties and family friends come and they give us money then,my mum bought us a piggy bang to save the money in.So there was this time during one of the holidays that I devised a way to get money out of the piggy bank with a stick of broom cos normally you have to break the thing to be able to get the money out.So yours truly got 5Naira out of the piggy bank and declared for my homies on my street o,enuff smarties,trebor,fan ice ,kulikuli,puff puff ati bebe lo.Well na so ur guy become bobo nice to all the homies and chikitas on my street that day o and ur guy was really feeling cool until katakata burst when my mum came back from work and the first news she heard for the day from my jealous sisters was how urs truly was doing baba alaye for all the homies in the area with money I got from my piggy bank.

The normal protocol then was when you did something wrong,my mum will talk to you about it and feed you in readiness for my dad.When he comes back from work,he first of all eat and its like you are been subjected to a torture,cos he will take his time to eat and rest well and all the while you are in your room waiting to hear him shout your name from the living room.Well on this particular day my dad called me into the living room to decide my fate.So the judgement normally start with you explaining why you did what you did and you will be the one to give judgement on yourself as well by deciding if what you did warrants a whooping.Mehn reflecting back on those days atimes makes me wonder what was going on in my dad's head,why he would make you explain why you did what you did and to decide if you deserve a whooping and woe betide you if you pass any wrong judgement.Well the night ended up with my dad chasing me all over the living room trying to corner me and I was feeling like James Bond diving over couches and tables until finally I got tired.Hmmmmm.... those were the days ...I guess thatz part of what made a lot of us what we are today.

Gosh I need to go to bed o .it is 11.40pm here ......

I got this from my brother just today and it actually reminded me of one of my smart mouthed cousin.

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the
other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of
the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives
us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called
current affairs.

6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance
repeated".

8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten
people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated.
The others all died".

11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at
the same time."

12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

Am sleeping off already ...Have a nice week guys!

Gengen

2007-04-04T23:10:00.000-05:00

I am pretty sure you saw the title of this post and you are like,what the heck is this guy talking about again.Well it is the title of the song playing on my blog now by "Sound Sultan".I actually wanted to put "I go yarn" by Eldee before but I decided to put this song instead.You need to listen to the lyrics of this song.

I have been MIA cos the weekdays has been a lil' busy for moi and the past 2 weekends as been a little bit occupied as well.

I noticed that the guy's face on the video on my last post scared a couple of people from watching the video..lol ...no be the guy's fault now.Like the saying goes "monkey no fine but hin mummy like am". Biko close ya eyes and listen to the video then ...lol.

Anyway moving I had to go to Indianapolis for a wedding this past weekend and so I had to fly to Chicago on Friday and drove down with my friend that stays in Chicago on Saturday.The wedding was fun coupled with getting to see a lot of friends that I have not seen in like 10 to 12yrs and I also ran into an high school mate that I have not seen since our last day in high school.

I wonder if I will be able to survive if I by any sort of mistake find myself in that area,cos the whole of Indiana is country y'all.The wedding party ended around 1am and we shifted the after party to the groom's house which we decided to pack up around 5am.Drove back to Chicago on Sunday and left for my base on Monday morning,but not after I missed my 6.20m flight cos of the long security line caused by the spring breakers.That was my past weekend in a nutshell,hope you guys had fun as well.

If you want to understand what Calabargirl has been saying about how tasty 404 is check out this story

Well I got this email from my brother and decided to share it with you guys cos I actually got something from it.

"Have you ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed? The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure out how to fix the engine.

Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom. Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do.

After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away.

The engine was fixed! A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars . "What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!" So they wrote the old man a note saying,

"Please send us an itemized bill." The man sent a bill that read:

Tapping with a hammer ...............$ 2.00

Knowing where to tap .................$ 9,998.00

GRAND TOTAL ... ..............................$10,000.00

Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference. I pray GOD to always give us the insight to know WHERE TO TAP whenever we are faced with the dangers and tribulations associated with the world of today.

Well if you sort of ran out of ink in your printer you can always make a photocopy of your screen

Well got to leave you a joke for the weekend ..

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, when then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me."

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

Adios ma peeps and make sure you listen to the song playing o...Have a lovely weekend.

2007-03-21T23:12:00.000-05:00

Hey folks,whatz going down on here I have been amiss for a minute.I really don't have anything going on right now except u guys want me to bore u with my work which is a little bit killing right now 'cos am working with some "skulls"(blockheads) who call themselves consultants and the "mammal"(dimwit) that I unfortunately got as a project manager is not helping matters as well.

Anyway I just saw this video online and decided to share it with u guys..just make sure u watch it till the end o,cos they might be the next Tony Tetula...

I saw this picture and remember what one of my very good friend was discussing with me about how atimes u don't understand what u actually did with money and before u know it, u have one expense to settle when u actually thought u have some left over money.

Anyway lemme leave u guys with a lil dose of my jokes for the week.This is for you peeps that always have some ready made lie when u need to take time off work ...

A company decided to come out with there own set of rules

SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

PERSONAL DAYS:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

VACATION DAYS:
All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July 4 & Dec. 25

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.

OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice, as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

RESTROOM USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.

LUNCH BREAK:
Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain the average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. Sondra gets none.

DRESS CODE:
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary, if we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week.

You guys have a lovely rest of the week and a nice weekend

Awesome God

2007-03-12T23:00:00.000-05:00

Howdy folks,I know it's been a minute.Work has been a little busy that all I want to do when I get home is just get in bed,watch TV and sleep off,but God has been good.

I sat down to update my blog and nuthn really came to my head to write except that NEPA struck lastnite and power in my little abode was switched off for like an hr and it actually looked like for ever,cos you need to know how hot it has been getting down here.

Anyway going back to the title of my post.The topic on TERC last friday was about praising God cos he is the only one that is worthy of praises.People actually praise God in different ways,we have people that can actually praise God with their voice,some with their talents of playing musical instruments and some by actually writing the songs.

When I started writing this post and I was trying to get a title for the post,I remembered one of my best songs till date and which I still sing to praise God's name."AWESOME GOD" and I also remembered this song playing on my site which is by Tosin titled "ARUGBOOJO"(I am still trying to get the translation for that)Tosin stays in Houston,Tx and she has an album out Titled "Uproot All" I can send you a couple of her songs if you want.Just leave your email address.

Awesome God

Well lemme leave you with my weekly jokes

If only
Two YORUBA WOMEN were waiting at the Gate OF HEAVEN and struck up a conversation. First WOMAN says "How did you die?" Second says "I froze to death". First WOMAN says "Must have been awful." Second WOMAN says "How did you die?" First WOMAN says "I had a heart attack, I knew my husband was being unfaithful so I came home unexpectedly one day and rushed to the bedroom and found my husband alone reading. I rushed to the basement and nobody was hiding there, I rushed to the attic and still no one, and after all that rushing around I had a heart attack and died." Second WOMAN says, "If only you'd looked in the freezer we'd both still be alive.. can u imagine

Confidence and Confidential
Son asks diff btw Confidence and Confidential Dad says, u are my son, I am Confident. Ur friend is also my son, thats Confidential

WHY???

2007-03-04T14:08:00.000-06:00

This post was inspired by this song playing titled WHY by Will Smith.I was listening to the song while driving right now and actually got to listen to the lyrics and I realize that there will always be the question WHY???

Why did I just put 1100miles on my car this past weekend?

Why do I have to almost have a brain hemorrhage to do my job?

Why does Uncle Sam have to keep nipping me this much on my paycheck?

Why is it that everything that was said in a meeting I just had sounded like another language?

Why do the prices of things never go down but up except during sales and I know they are still getting me with the sales?

Why does the cost of labor to replace a part in my car 3 times more than the price of the part itself? (I miss Kabiru in Naija)

Why do I have to first fly to DC or North Carolina from Tampa before flying to Texas?

Why is it that I am not inheriting a huge amount of something from somebody, someone, everybody, anybody? Scream

Why do people have to suffer this much in Africa?

Why do we always get dumb asses as Presidents in Naija?

Why is it that the qualification to run for office especially the President of Naija be Standard VI?

Why do most girls like doggy style?

Why do women enjoy their orgasms more when they do have it than men?

Why do I feel the media is not really helping the security of this nation with some of their broadcasts?

Why was I given a 2hr wait at a restaurant in Orlando lastnite?

Why does this cold refreshing crush taste so good?

YOU ALSO NEED TO WATCH AND LISTEN TO THE VIDEO ON THE RIGHT TITLED HOLY GHOST FIRE BY RESONANCE.AM LOVING THE SONG SHA.

Let me leave you guys with a joke for the week.

Stand Up For The Little Guy!

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor.

The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea!"

The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden -- WHACK!! -- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan."

So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so. But he thinks for awhile and thinks, " Why shouldn't I be at the bar if I want to?

"He walks up behind the big dude and -- WHAM!!!" -- knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!! The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he gets up, tell him that's a crowbar from Sears!

Have a nice weekend folks

Brain Dropplings

2007-02-17T04:29:00.000-06:00

Howdy ma peeps?Been a minute,well been busy adjusting to a new city,different climate and I must say that I am missing my America hometown o ...H-Town babayyyyyyy.....Yeyeeeee...Turn up ur speakers !!!!!!

Anyway first of all I just want to post this intership opportunity for people that are still in college with a very reputable company GE Energy. I have a friend that works for them as a project manager and these people roll big if I may tell you.This guy works from home,he was given a brand new company car and an Amex card to charge all his gas and chopulatings on.Trust yours truly,I partake in this gasing up and chopulating any available opportunity that I get o,cos I no come count bridge for America o.

Anyway this was the advert for the summer intership that I got and I just want to let ma peeps know about it and you might know someone that it will benefit.

All - Please forward to Youth in College who may qualify and be
interested in this opportunity.

I will be starting the interview process for my Summer Interns in a
few weeks and I NEED YOUR HELP. I am looking for college Freshmen,
Sophomores, or Juniors in Engineering, Computer Science, Finance, or
Accounting. Must have a minimum GPA of 3.0. I will consider some
business majors with strong leadership qualities.

Location of Internships: Atlanta, Greenville, Houston, Ohio,
Raytown, Schenectady, Erie, ..anywhere there is a GE facility!
Average salary: $17 an hour....some locations I will pay a housing
allowance.

Please forward this email to all that meet the requirements above.
My numbers are below!

Michelle Jackson, PHR

GE Energy

HR Manager, Compliance & Dispute Resolution

T: 678 844 7668

F: 1-866-276-0930

D: *421-7668

So if you are interested or know someone that qualifies and is interested,just give her a call.

Anyway I was watching TV the other day and there was a case going on in a court, the government was trying take some woman’s three kids away ‘cos she always leave them at home to go to work to get money for them to survive on and they are accusing her of negligence. During the court proceedings, the judge ask the Child protection services attorney how much will be allocated to the foster mother they will be placing the kids with and the attorney said $600 for each child making a total of $1800 for the three kids.

My point is this is a woman that has no record of abusing these kids and the only record she has is for stealing a carton of milk ‘cos her kids were hungry. She always get fired at all the jobs she gets when one of her kids get sick and she had to take care of them and she could not make it to work or something. The woman came out and said that if the government gives her the $1800 that they are planning to give the foster mother to take care of her kids, she will be able to take care of them much better as their mother, but the government was not ready to do that which I still don’t get as of right now.

The judge did a wonderful thing by appointing the mother’s sister has the foster mother and also said the sister can rent a bigger house and can also give or rent the mother a room to stay in the house. Men, the Child Protection Service’s attorney was almost going crazy ‘cos there was nothing he could do about it.

I always wonder if the people in government sit down and take a look at some of the laws they lay down, because some of these laws go over the top most of the time and it actually push people to even break the law a times. I am not saying that laws are not really applicable for the reason they were actually laid down, but there should be exceptions to some instances. Like with this example, if the mother was abusive towards are kids, a drug abuser or just irresponsible, I will agree with it, but this is a mother that is been punished for making a couple of mistakes by having kids with fathers that are not responsible and she is trying to take care of them as much as she can.

Lemme leave you with some pictures of our very handsome presido and his cohorts ......

HAPPY PRESIDENTS DAY ...ABI!!!

O Ma home ..Damn!!! I miss this delicacy like crazy

Am out peeps.Take care and enjoy ya weekend o and Tony Tetula was in Houston last nite but your truly was over here.No money for flight now abi ... anyway I will try and contact my friend that brought him into town to see if I can get pictures for your viewing pleasure.

2007-02-09T21:45:00.000-06:00

Mastercard Blowjob Commercial

Men I saw this Video on Youtube and I could not resist posting it.
Try and guess what would happen to the chic when she faces her dad and am sure the guy will not come to that house again..LOL

Have a nice weekend folks

'Cos we are some Jolly Good Fellows

2007-02-02T13:34:00.000-06:00

Am sure a lot of people are trying to figure out whatz up with the title of my post today.Na so I see am o.

First of all,let me answer a lot of people that was asking what SAP BW is ..this is not Structural Adjustment Program o...This is System Application Processes or Products and BW(Business Warehousing) is one of the modules.

Well on Monday when I got to work I saw a poster saying that we are having a superbowl cookout on friday which is today and I was reading the No.7 item(all y'all wedding crashers know what am talking about) and I saw under the drinks category ..Beer!Beer!!Beer!!!.I did a double take to reread but I still saw the same thing.So i decided to wait till today to see what is going to happen and keep in mind that the cookout is from 11.30am to 2.30pm during office hours.

So I woke up today finished the screening of the resumes that my manager gave me to screen for interviews for a position in our office in India and jumped into the bathroom.I decided to wear a track down pant with one of my Gunners Jerseys(The yellow one for all my UK people to damo).Got to work and had a brief meeting in the morning.I got an email saying that the cookout was still on despite the little bit of rain we got in the morning.So around 11.40am,my manager who was actually around from Mexico(did I tell you guys my manager is situated in our office in Mexico) came to get me so that we can go downstairs for the cookout o.Got there and there was a line for the barbecue,chillis and burgers and there was like 5 coolers of different beer,Heineken,Budlite,Budweiser,Guinness,Corona etc ...Omo I wail ...come and see all those people I was looking at as nerds slurging up.Mind you my company is like a University campus and the building I am is just for the IT personnel.

It is already 2.35pm now and I can see some people walking around like they are flat footed around here now.While eating and drinking I got to interact with a couple of my co workers and was told that they normally have this kind of shindig almost every 2 weeks.Right about now,everybody is back to work now o and you can actually see people doing their normal work.As I am typing this post,I have a half filled bottle of Heineken sitting on my desk from which I am sipping from now.Since I started with this company,I have actually have to be all uptight to get work done in an organization.Our dress code is casual all the way,you see Managers in shorts,shirts and slippers in meetings and stuffs.

Well don't let me leave you without making you laff a little ....
Check out this caption of an angry wife ......

This is also for some people who have been doing investigations with all the law enforcement agencies all over the world to get my picture,this was taken in Las Vegas recently sha. .(You know ya sefssssss)

Getting Butt Kicked

2007-01-24T18:00:00.000-06:00

I am sure a lot of people will be looking at the title of this post and thinking this guy dan dey kolo small ...

Well first an foremost,I thank everybody that wished me a happy birthday and for all your prayers as well.I pray God returns the favor in ten folds back to you guys.
A lot of people were asking how old I was,well I was between 25 and 100 years old on the 19th of January 2007...LOL.I also got calls from a lot of my family members,friends and some other people as well(you know yourselves).

I started the job on Monday and had the orientation and guess what people,I reported to work on Tuesday and got introduced around to everybody and bam,was slammed with a project on my second day at work.I was given the project to own it,write schematics,work with all the functional analyst from other departments and implement the project.I was so stunned that it took me a while to talk.I looked at the specifications and everything on the paper looked like it was not written in English,as in I drew a blank o.I was even trying to use indirect talk explain to the Business analyst that "sister I no understand all these mumbo jumbo wey you write for this paper wey you just give me" but the sister blank me o and indirectly pass the wave back that "na ya problem be that homie,shebi na you want work".Put in mind that the laptop that was ordered for me never surfaced as am typing this post and my email address is still yet to be created and although all my usernames and password has been created for all the servers but I can't log in to any server,because desktop and laptop never surface and the system security people are refusing to give me remote access from my laptop o.We do one meeting today and I just dey rap for the meeting o,you know when you are using other people's ideas to give feedbacks.Thank God that am a Nigerian o,damn God too dash us sense scather.

Anyway to be serious "I AM LOOKING FOR ANYBODY THAT KNOWS ANYBODY THAT IS A SAP BW CONSULTANT/ANALYST/DEVELOPER TO SHARE IDEAS WITH O,COS AM LIKE A LOST LAMB NOW" abeg if there is one reading this post or you know anybody,PLEASESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS help me out,just leave me your email address and I will get in touch with you asap cos I really need help.

You can imagine me thinking at least I have like 2 weeks before anything starts rolling in o,thot I would be able to drive around to look for apartments and stuffs,but my ass is rushing back to the hotel to read and work as soon as I leave work o.Abeg pray for your guy o...LOL

Happy Birthday To Me

2007-01-19T01:55:00.000-06:00

Wow! A whole year just went by since my last birthday and I have a lot to thank God for .I don't even know where to start, cos God has been really good.

I thank God for his divine favor,grace,mercies,wisdom and understanding and on top of that I thank God for allowing me to see another birthday in good health.I also thank God for my family and all my friends(blogsville family included).

I started receiving calls from people just before 12midnight,even one of my sisters called me from Nigeria 12midnight on the dot.

Well I don't really have anything planned specially for today,but I might hang out with a couple of friends later today for drinks and we will take it from there.I have been getting my beauty sleep since Tuesday,cos my last day at my job down here was on Monday and I will be starting the Tampa job on Monday,so Tampa here I come this weekend.

Anyway lemme leave you with this joke before going to get some sleep.

One day, a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered deeply into the hole examining it for fish. Suddenly, a loud voice boomed, "There are no fish down there."

Surprised, but not discouraged, the fisherman continued on. He walked several yards away, drilled another hole and peered deeply into it. Again, out of nowhere, a voice suddenly boomed, "There's no fish down there."

A bit nervous now, the fisherman managed to continue. He walked about 50 yards away and drilled yet another hole, peered long and deep into the hole, hoping for some fish. Suddenly, the voice boomed again, this time louder than ever, "There's no fish down there!!!"

The fisherman, quite frightened at this point, looked up into the sky and asked, "God!? Is that you?"

"No, you idiot," the voice said. "It's the rink manager."

Will be back to give you details if anything exciting happens.

Why can't They Just Get Along

2007-01-15T21:51:00.000-06:00

Howdy folks, just had to throw that in cos am from H-town, Texas babayyyyyy and just came back from Nashville, TN which is the home of cowboys and country music.

Anyway hope I won't be crucified with my tantrums today 'cos it has to do with why women just can’t get along and even live together. Studies have pretty much concluded that women always have problems with each other cos women are very much competitive amongst each other and cos of raging hormones as well.(God help you to cross a woman been hormonally disarranged by menstrual cramps)

I have twin sisters and I always notice the competition amongst them while growing up, although the Kehinde is more competitive though and the Taiwo is laid back and does not like wahala.

Coming back to what prompted this chit chat, I was a little late for my flight down here on Thursday and could not check my bag in, so I had to carry it on with my laptop bag which actually was a pain, but thank God I only have a travel pack lotion, deodorant spray and a small Eau de toilette in the bag. So I had to run with both bags to the terminal and made it into the plane. I got to my seat and the lady thatz suppose to be seating beside was having a throw down with the lady seating right behind me, cos the lady behind me was trying to tell her to put her laptop bag under the seat in front of her so that she can have enough space to put her carry on bag. The lady seating beside me was not giddy with that idea and thatz where the wahala started o. I tried talking to both of them but I finally rest my case cos they indirectly told me to shut my trap, cos they got this. Anyway I finally agree to let the woman beside me put her laptop bag under the seat in front of me and I just thank God that I found a spot to put my bag upfront before I got to the seat, cos am sure both of them would have turn on me if I as much talk about putting my bag up there. Well they kept referring to each other all through the flight o.

Make sure you watch the video O!!!

So folks what is your own view about why women can’t as much has get along?

Proverbs From the First Grade...

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to fill in the rest. Here's what the kids came up with:

1. Better to be safe than... punch a 5th grader.

2. Strike while the... bug is close.

3. It's always darkest before... daylight savings time.

4. Never underestimate the power of... termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but... how?

6. Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.

7. No news is... impossible.

8. A miss is as good as a... Mr.

9. You can't teach an old dog... math.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you... will stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust... me.

12. The pen is mightier than... the pigs.

13. An idle mind is... the best way to relax.

14. Where there is smoke, there's... pollution.

15. Happy is the bride who... gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is... not much.

17. Two is company, three's... The Musketeers.

18. None are so blind as... Helen Keller.

19. Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.

20. If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.

21. You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box.

22. When the blind lead the blind... get out of the way.

23. There is no fool like... Aunt Edie.

24. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and... you have to blow your nose.

I got this warning from one of my friends and just had to share it with you guys

Take a look at this!

Cancer News From Johns Hopkins

This is News update from John Hopkins Hospital. It is a good

summary,

Cancer update -- Johns Hopkins -- Cancer News from Johns Hopkins:

1. No plastic containers in micro.

2. No water bottles in freezer.

3. No plastic wrap in microwave.

Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its newsletters. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center as well.

Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer.

Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic.

Recently, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle Hospital , was on a TV program to explain this health hazard. He talked about dioxins a nd how bad they are for us.

He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave

using plastic containers. This especially applies to foods that contain fat. He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and plastics

releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body.

Instead, he recommends using glass, such as Corning Ware, Pyrex

or ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results, only

without the dioxin.

So such things as frozen dinners, instant ramen noodles and soups,

etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc.

He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is one of the reasons.

Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as dangerous when placed over! foods to be cooked in the microwave.

As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food.

Cover food with a paper towel instead.

So folks am wishing you a lovely week ‘cos as of right now we are having an ice sleet or ice storm down here o.

To send or not To send

2007-01-04T07:49:00.000-06:00

I was talking to one of my friend on Sunday and and she was talking about sending her twin sons to Nigeria next year to start high school cos she does not really trust them attending high school in the US.I went ahead to ask her which school she will be sending them to and she doesn't even know which school yet.

I started thinking if it was a good idea to actually send the kids back to Nigeria to attend high school with all the reports I keep hearing about how people in Nigeria are sending their kids to school in Ghana,South Africa and other African countries.I have a couple of my cousins in schools in Ghana and one even in South Africa.

There was a post on somebody's blog sometime ago about a private school on the Island where they actually put kids in classes according to how rich and influential their parents are.I wonder what the school system in Nigeria has turned into now,cos I remembered when I was in high school back home,education was a priority.The last time I went to my high school in Nigeria was when I went to collect my SSCE certificate and I actually cried for the students.The school was not anywhere near how it was when I was there.The environment did not even look like a learning environment.It actually looked like a Juvenile camp for boys and all the buildings were almost collapsing from lack of maintenance.All the students were walking or playing around like there was nothing to do.I could still remember how dead you are if you are caught walking around during school time back then.

I still believe that a country is not a country as long as the Government of the country is not providing basic amenities that is needed for it's citizens like good schools,good roads,power and for an average working citizen of the said country to wake up in the morning and don't have an inkling on how he is going to get one meal for that day.

I think it's only God that can give us the revolution we need to turn Nigeria around back to what it use to be.

Lemme leave you with a couple of video clips

Oprah's interview with Madea(Tyler Perry)

Girl fight ... fight fight ..LOL

How to put on a Bra..I know guys will click on this

You guys have a lovely rest of the week

Happy New Year Folks

2006-12-30T12:07:00.000-06:00

Howdy folks!!! Am very sorry that I have been AWOL for a while,although I have been posting comments on bloggers pages.I have been a lil' busy with work and with myself(get ur damn mind outta the gutter,cos am not talking abt playing with myself).It's the end of the year and I just had to sit down and think about where I am going in the coming year.

First I will love to thank everyone for all their prayers concerning the interviews I have been tortured with.God has been good and by God's grace I have to move mu butt to Tampa soon 'cos they have been begging me to take the job offer.I know you are like,idiot .. yes o that is how God works o.When God decides to grant what he has in stock for his kids,they will even be begging us his kids to take it.I was offered the job last week and I told them that I have to think about it cos I am suppose to have another interview with a big consulting firm,but they decided to shift the interview till January.So I decided to accept the job cos the recruiter called and told me I needed to make a decision by yesterday so that they will know not to look for other people.Anyway it is going to be a lot of experience laded opportunity for me and paywise .. God is good sha.

Season greetings to everybody,my holidays has been good.One of my friend and mentor had a Xmas party on Xmas day and it was fun and it was not funny waking up to go to work the next day.Everybody at work came with an hangover.I think all these companies just want to punish you for getting paid cos left to me,nothing was done on that day at work.

I thank God for everything that he did for me in 2006,cos he has been good to me a lot and I can't wait to experience what he has is stock for me in 2007.
I actually want to thank a lot of bloggers for the inspiration and the encouragement I got from you guys,cos from reading people's blogs,I have a learnt a lot from people sharing their experiences on here.

Just a little something to remind you of safety during this holidays.

I'm Her Daddy

2006-12-18T01:45:00.000-06:00

I am very sorry for the been missing for a minute and thank you guys for all your comments and prayers as well.

I actually typed a post up while I was at the airport waiting for my flight back to Houston from Tampa on thursday,but I lost the post while trying to upload it cos the website started having problems.

Anyway,my week has been kinda busy with different things.I was up to my neck with work and also had to fly down to Tampa on wednesday for an interview on thursday morning.The company decided to fly me down to Tampa after 2 gruelsome phone interviews which lasted like an hour each and the face-2-face interview lasted another 2 hours,felt like I was been interrogated by the POPO.I got to Tampa around 7pm,got the rental car and one of my friends that stays in Tampa met up with me and we got lost a couple of times before we found my hotel.I got to the hotel and I ended up having to pay for the room cos the person that was suppose to take care of it at the company forgot(Just remembered I was suppose to fax a copy of the receipt to the person to refund me).I decided to drive by the company that night so that it would be easy for me to locate it in the morning,but gave up after driving for over an hour and could not figure out where the place was.I was able to locate the place in time for the interview in the morning sha.

One of my very close friend got married this saturday and I was the bestman,so I had to go straight from the airport to his engagement when I got back to Houston on thursday and we also had the Bachelor's eve bash after the engagement.Woke up late on friday cos I did not get home till like 5am from the Bachelor's eve party.I had to run a couple of errands and ended up missing the wedding rehasals and later went with the groom and friends that were in town from Nigeria,London,Canada and all over the US for the wedding.We had fun catching up cos I have not seen a lot of the said friends in a while and we finally ended up in Dennis restaurant around 5am and left around 6.30am after eating almost all the wings they have at the restaurant.

I woke up around 11am on saturday and had to do last minute running around for the wedding.All the groomsmen met at the grooms house and went to the church from there.The church service was lovely,the reception and the owanbe party was off the chain and I had to give the toast as well.

I think I need to go to sleep now cos I so need to go..but am not going to leave without a joke.

Snow Plow

It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when Lena got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home.

She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She remembered a friend's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard, she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift. This made Lena feel much better and sure enough in a little while, a snow plow went by, and she started to follow it. As she followed the snow plow, she was feeling very smug as they continued, and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions.

After quite sometime had passed, she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right, as she had been following him for a long time.

She said that she was fine and told him of the advice she'd received to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard.

The driver replied that it was OK with him, and she could continue if she wanted...but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was going over to Kmart next.

The Church Organist

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and He could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would

prevent the spread of disease. And wouldn't you know, I haven't had the flu all winter."

Braincells Popping

2006-12-08T07:10:00.000-06:00

Am sorry guys,due to some circumstances beyond my control and cos of some comments come people are putting on my page which has made me not so anonymous,I have decided to stop blogging.

DUH!!! am pretty sure a lot of bloggers are saying WTF!!!

Psych!!! I wish ...

I just wanted to put that up cos thatz the in thing on blogsville now,people shutting down their blogs cos of one madman leaving some degoratory comments on their blogs about igba or awo.

Anyway the video is for you people that are trying to vent,u can try what this guy did and maybe it will make you feel better.

Anyway am sorry that I have been AWOL for a minute,been busy at work and been having some crazy interviews,had like 3 this week and still having one this afternoon,told you guys am trying to change jobs now,so pray for me now o and maybe I might get to move to your side of town.

These are some quotes I saw online that some people left about their wives.So this is not me o

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her.

Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they
just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you
get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is,
"What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.
A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henry Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the
second one didn't."

Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong,
admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters.They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy "You're lucky,
mine's still alive."

A Little Joke for the weekend.....

During an annual psychiatrists convention, three psychiatrists take a walk. "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears," one says, "but we have no one to go to with our problems. Since we're all professionals, why don't we hear each other out right now?"

They agree that this is a good idea. The first psychiartrist confesses, "I'm a compulsive shopper and deeply in debt, so I overbill patients as often as I can."

The second admits, "I have a drug problem that's out of control, and I frequently pressure my patients into buying illegal drugs for me."

The third psychiatrist says, "I know it's wrong, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't keep a secret."

Anyway you guys have a lovely weekend and take care of you!

Prank Calls

2006-11-29T01:46:00.000-06:00

My thanksgiving was good and I had a swell time from eating and partying with a couple of friends.

How many people get calls from a number that you dont know and when you pick up the phone,the person just starts spitting like you should know who and what they are talking about.I got a call from a strange number on my cellphone yesterday and immediately I picked up the call,the person just went on about how the sex was a life saver and how she has not had some in while and she cant wait to get some again.

Ol boy I held my phone and actually had to check if I was not holding somebody else's phone,my head was screaming WTF,cos I know I could not even recognise the voice.After she had ranted for like 3mins,I calmly asked who was on the phone and am pretty sure she almost colapsed wherever she was 'cos she shouted "WHAT!!!" is this not "Leshawne" or something like that.I said no,this is Naijabloke and I dont know who Leshawne is and this is my cellphone.Apparently the chic dialed the wrong number and just started talking without asking for Leshawne.

Anyway all along while she was ranting about the great sex and how it saved her life,my head was extracting data,analysing and creating reports to figure out which of my friends was trying to prank call me,but I guess I just wasted some of my brain cells 'cos it was a wrong number.

Have you recieved a prank call or a funny call from someone that you dont know before or you have prank called someone before that was funny?

Turn your speakers up and listen to these prank calls and laugh a little.

This is Rickey Smiley doing one on a lady

This is a 10yr old gurl that called a demolition company to bargain with them to demolish her school

This wife called a radio show to call her husband to confirm if he is cheating on her

Let me leave you with a joke before I go

Never Smelled So Good....

An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Italian cookies.

With all his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. With labored breath, he leaned against the doorframe, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven. There, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table, were literally hundreds of his favorite anisette cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Italian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked hard with a spatula by his wife.

"GET OUT OF HERE!" she shouted, "THEY'RE FOR THE FUNERAL!"

You guys have a rest of the week

Happy Thanksgiving

2006-11-22T08:32:00.000-06:00

Thank you all for all your kind comments on my last post,I really appreciate it.
Lets try and give thanks in all we do cos thatz the only thng we could do to show our appreciation to what God does and is going to do for us.
I was thinking about what to post and I saw this pics in one of my folders and decided to share them with you guys.

SEE WHAT COMPUTERIZATION IS TURNING OR LIVES TO.

You were More a Friend Than An Aunt

2006-11-17T07:05:00.000-06:00

You gave me someone I could talk to when I was a rebel
You acted as a book of advise when I needed to study about life
You were always smiling even though you caould be tough when it is needed
You acted as a a communication structure between me and mum most of the time
You tend to understand me when most people dont understand
You always encourage me to follow through as long as I believe it is right
You always sort me out when am broke even when it is to take a date out
You are the only one/Nigerian I know that calls me by my full name
You always make my name sound like a pet name when you call me
You always know how to disolve my anger with words when am pissed at you
You are always slow to anger but always calm with it to a fault
You always make monthly foodstuffs shopping seems like fun cos you dont waste time
You are one of the best cooks I know and your parties are always the bomb

All my friends normally become your friend cos they think you are cool too and they always never believe you are younger than my mum,although you are the third born and she is the first.Although both you guys most time never agree on stuffs,the sisterly bond always keep you guys together.

I thank God for your life,his grace,mercies and favour on your life
I thank God for the part you played in my life for me to be where I am today
I thank God for allowing me to see you for the last time last december after almost 4yrs

This post is dedicated to my loving Aunt.
I got a call from my mum today and she told me my aunt died this past sunday and they have been trying to figure out how to tell me.Although I was shocked and sad when she told me,but I felt some sort of calmness in me cos I know she has gone home to rest.
My aunt is diabetic and it has gotten a little bit serious for the past 2-3yrs.She has been in and out of the hospital for a while,that when I saw her last December,she was a lot different from who I had grown up to know.

I love you aunty and a lot of people will miss you but I know God had to end your suffering and take you home to rest.

Adieu!!! till we meet again.

BE THANKFUL

2006-11-09T23:56:00.000-06:00

Diamond has been running a series of thanksgiving post on her blog for sometime now and I have been reading the comments on the post and they have been inspiring also a lot of the comments also gave me reason to be thankful to God for life,my family and friends.Reading the posts made me remember one of my best songs way back titled "Yahweh is for Us" by Maranatha Singers ... I hope am right.I have been trying to get the CD,so if anyone knows the song,please share...I just realised that I still remember the lyrics of the song are

"Sing a song of victory
Shout aloud on to our God
Who is like the living God
Yahweh is for us
Tell of all his faithfulness
Our lives has been restored
Halleluyah we'r blessed
Yahweh is for us "lets praise him"

He hears! he hears every faithful prayer
He sees! he watching with tender care
he knows! He knows every pain we bear
From the highest heavens his mercies flow to the end of the earth his people know
Yahweh is for us!!!

Cant remember the whole second verse.

Well in short I thank God for what he has done,has been doing,is doing right now and for what he has in stock for me as well.

HEBREW NAMES USED TO PRAISE GOD

Adonai-Jehovah -- The Lord our Sovereign
El-Elyon -- The Lord Most High
El-Olam -- The Everlasting God
El-Shaddai -- The God Who is Sufficient for the Needs of His People
Jehovah-Elohim -- The Eternal Creator
Jehovah-Jireh -- The Lord our Provider
Jehovah-Nissi -- The Lord our Banner
Jehovah-Ropheka -- The Lord our Healer
Jehovah-Shalom -- The Lord our Peace
Jehovah-Tsidkenu -- The Lord our Righteousness
Jehovah-Mekaddishkem -- The Lord our Sanctifier
Jehovah-Sabaoth -- The Lord of Hosts
Jehovah-Shammah -- The Lord is Present
Jehovah-Rohi -- The Lord our Shepherd
Jehovah-Hoseenu -- The Lord our Maker
Jehovah-Eloheenu -- The Lord our God

Maryland and DC here I come this weekend to attend a wedding.The wedding is going to be on Sunday so will be comng back on monday.

Some jokes for some good laffs

For all y'all that use your relatives to lie when trying to get off work.
This was a conversation between an employee and his boss.

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

"Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied.

"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While

they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband,

"You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in

the Holy Land, for $150." The man thought about it and told him he

would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife

home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend

only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three

days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

MY OGBONO SOUP WITH POUNDED YAM ------ $10

BUTT CHEEKS SHOW IN LAS VEGAS ---------$45

TRYING TO WRITE A TEST TO GET A JOB ------- PRICELESS

No, it’s not a political rally, neither is it a Refugee Camp nor did it happen in Rwanda .It is very much a “Nigerian Thing”.
It's a picture of applicants scrambling to write an Employment Test @ Fototek Plaza, Opebi Ikeja,Lagos,Nigeria.
This was "INTERCONTINENTAL BANK TEST SOME WEEKS BACK IN IKEJA" a friend just sent the picture to me o.Said police had to disperse the mammoth crowd with teargas!

If this is true then "Nigeria We Hail Thee"

Have a nice weekend y'all!!!

NEWS FLASH Y'ALL

GERALD LEVERT DIES AT 40 PRESUMABLY OF AN HEART ATTACK
This is a sad news cos this is one of the remaining old skool male singers.Had his dads Eddie Levert's albums back then and he did a lot of songs with Bebe and Cece Winnans as well.He was a part of the popular R&B group LSG(Levert,Sweat and Gill) consisiting of Him,Keith Sweat and Johnny Gill.
You can read the story HERE

Na Wah For Us O

2006-10-30T23:30:00.000-06:00

Hey ma peeps,I have been AWOL for a minute.Studying and work has been kinda crazy for like the past 3-4weeks,but I thank God for his grace and mercies.

Was in Chicago over the past weekend and it was fun,got to see a couple of friends that I have not seen in a while and ended up at Zambia;s independence party on Saturday.Got to talk to a couple of guys from Zambia,Kenya,Botswana and Zimbabwe and found out a lot about how they feel about Naija guys.Do you know a big part of guys from other parts of Africa actually despise Naija guys.Well from talking to some of them I found out that their contemptuous feeling towards Naija guys is from Naija guys dating anything that runs around in skirts and that most of the other African countries can't really get to date Naija chics.

U might look at it like so what has that got to do with loathing Naija guys o,cos that was the same question I ask them as well.After arguing with a couple of them,I found out that it actually has to do with Naija guys confidence in been able to talk to and date any African chic while most Naija chics look at some other African brothers like crazy when they try talking to them.(Give it up for Naija chics and their class and aloofness).

I was almost left there by my friend cos I was arguing with this guys about the whole issue.I tried making them realise that it's an individual thing to be able to talk to and date any chic that you want,but none of them saw reason with me o.On the contrary,I later started thinking about the whole issue and came up with a couple of questions on the issue.

Are we like that in Nigeria cos we are too exposed,educated,beautiful,handsome,too dey denge pose,culture,family values etc or that is just the way we are?

So I will like to hear your opinions about this issue,if it is right about Naija guys,Naija chics and why we are like that.

I got this text from one of my collegues today and was like WTF!!!!

"A Black baby was given wings by "god".... the baby asked "does this mean am an angel" "god" laughed and said "naw nigga u a bat" Happy halloween ....!

This was exactly how he wrote the text ... notice I the "god" is different from "God" .This wackahead is from pakistan o.. I just did not bother to reply the text.

Check out this story

Dis story is about a guy called blah blah blah-Omoburukutu. This
story had me in stitches! You gotta read it!...

I did not come to England to take pictures of Big Ben or tour
London Bridge . I just wanted to get paid and get even with those
colonials. With a name like Ogundele Kayode Omobrukutu, I could not
even buy a bus pass let alone open a bank account. This is my
story....

It took me 6 months to study the system, but I still could not
figure out my squares and circus's. I could not travel from
Leicester Circus to Oxford Square without getting lost. I was a
YMCA (Young Money Chasing African) when I joined the FRAUD(Fine
Rich Africans United in Deals).

It took me 3 months to attain my ACCA (Advanced Certificate for
Criminal Africans) and I needed an MBA (Major Bank Account) to do
my first HND (Heavy Nigerian Deal).

I arranged to meet this guy at Animal and Something, I mean
Elephant and Castle. We were suppose to meet at 10.00am. I got
there at 11.30am and he turned up at 1.30pm. He pulled up in a
Mercedes 500SL with a private number plate - 419 ADE.

He was a definite Nigerian, he had it all - leather jacket in
summer, air condition on full blast with his roof and windows down
whilst smoking cigar and choking on his smoke just to impress me.
Being a fellow Nigerian I was more than impressed.

He introduced himself as Adepujo Kunle Babatunde and asked me to
call him Ade or Babs. He spoke with a strong Nigerian accent but he
messed the whole language up by slanging - he sounded like a
Canadian born Chinese living in Germany and studying French.

I had not been in the country for long but I could tell that Omo(my
man) was trying hard to be British. After hanging with Ade for
about 2 months I became an OBE (Opportunist Bank Employee) and
specialised in BBC (Breaking Bank Codes).

Money was flowing and I wanted more so I did my PhD (Passport
Handling Degree) and became an FBI (Fraudster Bringing Immigrants).

My status changed drastically...., I had a BMW 328is convertible
and a Porsche 911 with a private plate - 911 OMO and living in a
council flat and signing on.

I went to Moonlighting every Friday and drank champagne and danced
to music supplied by DJ Pace and Skills.

I became foolish - I remember one night I spent over a 1000 pounds
on just champagne at the club and had no money for petrol so I
walked home.

My downfall.... Greed and selfishness inevitably led to my downfall

I got involved with a CIA (Cash Investing Agent) and we did a
couple of GMTs (Good Money Transfers) but he later turned out to be
a CID (Cop in Disguise). I was under surveillance and I did not
even know.

I left the NHS (Nigerian Housing Scheme) early that morning with
about 12 different cheque books to go and do my business. They
followed me unto the high road and it was then that it hit me that
something was wrong.

I could not leave all that evidence in my car so I started chewing
my cheque books. I ate 8 before they pulled me over

They read me my rights and all that crap and in the end all I could
say was - OGA, water please!

On A Naija tip.....
This is strictly Ijaw man talk for some good laugh

A rolling stone –Na person push am
A stitch in time – dey avoid further tear tear
Birds of the same feather – Na de same mama born dem
One good turn – Na power steering be that
A friend in need- na long throat kill am
A bird in hand- Na chops be that

THE FOUR MEME

2006-10-20T08:15:00.000-05:00

Well I had to do this cos I got tagged by some teachers that are in the wrong professions and love giving assignments.Anyway who am I kidding,I dont really have time to type a post so I just decided to do this instead.

Chei can you imagine what happened to me lastnite.I was in Barnes and Noble battling to keep some data extraction jargons in my brain and I looked up only to see this gay dude smiling and winking at me.You need to see the kain "you dan dey kolo" look that I threw across the room to him,the look must have slapped the smiling and winking off his face.

The Fours Meme Only God knows what this is sef

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1. System Administrator (with the 1st Internet Service Provider in Nigeria)
2. Stocker @Target(was fired for sleeping for over 3hrs in my car during a 1hr lunch)
3. Account Resolution Specialist
4. Personal Banker

FOUR JOBS YOU WISH YOU HAD
1. CEO for Microsoft
2. CEO for Walmart
3. Fronting for Nigeria's President or a Governor.
4. Wolverine cos hez indestructible

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
1. Lord of the Rings baby (The Triology).bought the 3 DVDS
2. Face Off
3. The Gladiators
4. X-men ..

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN
1. Ibadan, Nigeria
2. Port Harcourt, Nigeria
3. Kingwood, Tx
4. Houston, Tx

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. Fashion House
2. Smallville
3. CSI (All the Franchises)
4. Charmed

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELED TO
1. ORLANDO,FL, USA
2. LAS VEGAS,NV, USA
3. LONDON, UK
4. TORONTO, CANADA

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
1. My Fav Blogs (xxxxx.blogspot.com, xxxx = multiple)
2. My email accounts(Gmail,Yahoo,Hotmail)
3. All the News website (CNN,BBC,NigeriaNews etc)
4. www.sdn.sap.com

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS
1. Iyan with any Nigeria soup-Egusi,Efo,Banga,Okasi,Afang etc
2. Rice with cornedbeef stew(I make a wicked cornedbeef stew)
3. Peppersoup,Suya and Kilishi
4. Any other food as long as I eat it

FOUR THINGS YOU WON'T EAT
1. Any seafood except Fish and shrimps
2. Sushi
3. Some Veggies (Mushrooms,Brocolli etc)
4. I have a long list of food I dont eat!

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT OR DRINK RIGHT NOW
1. Suya or Kilishi
2. Iyan and Native soup with periwinkles from Port Harcourt
3. Blue house's Amala with Ewedu in Ibadan
4. My mum's food

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. A King size Bed
2. TV
3. Shoes and books all over the floor
4. My laptop on the bed and computers on the floor

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. Loads more space
2. LCD hanging on the wall (still going to get that)
3. A refridgerator so that I dont have to go to the Kitchen
4. A remote control for every damn thing in the room

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. A boxers
2. A V-neck T-shirt
3. Covered with my comforter
4. My Brithday suit

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. In Bed Watching TV and not going to work today
2. On vacation
3. Sleeping
4. Just not at work

FOUR FICTIONAL PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. Duh
2. Duh!
3. Duh!!
4. Duh!!!

FOUR PEOPLE YOU’D REALLY LOVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH
1. God
2. Obasanjo(In the US cos he wont be able to do anything to me for lambasting is stupid and greedy ass)
3. Bill Gates(to see if I can get a piece of the microsoft cake)
4. My future wife and 2 kids

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW
1. Why cant this rubbish oyinbo ppl just invent a way to get this own syllabus in your head without reading it.
2. Is it possible to have a job I love TODAY???
3. I need to get my ass off this bed and go to work
4. Why am I stressing msyelf doing this Meme?

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS
1. My Family and Friends
2. My laptop
3. My cellphone
4. Music, Books and Movies

FOUR FAVOURITE QUOTES/EXPRESSIONS
1. Tough times never last but Tough people do(1st Christian book I ever read)
2. You reap what you sow
3 Cleaniless is next to Godliness
4. Damn!! Karma is a B***H!!!

As you know I have to leave you guys with a joke.Got this from one of my cousins.

God Bless Italians

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives"

"Hey, coo la down lady," said the man.
"Who isa talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell Mississippi'."

I bet $100 that you're gonna read this again and get ya freaking minds outta the gutter.

Have a nice weekend Folks

A-Z Of Me,Myself And I -(De La Soul)

2006-10-13T17:30:00.000-05:00

Whatz up my peeps? I actually wanted to put up a post about short people,but I guess that will be my next post.

Am off to Dallas 2nite for a family friend's older brother's 40th birthday tomorrow.So thatz like 4hrs drive right there.

I decided to put up my A-Z tag that Taureanminx tagged me with a couple of weeks ago.

Accent Depends on who am talking to,people at work atimes ask me if I have lived in London before.
Booze Beer and Liquor.
Chore I hate Ironing so Dry cleaners r cleaning up scather
Dogs/Cats Dogs don'tdont have any yet.
Essential Electronics Laptop,Cellphone and TV
Favourite perfume Signature by Kenneth Cole
Gold/silver Silver(White Gold)Had a chain on for like 6yrs now and it's still the same colour,so it aint fake babyyyy
Hometown Ilesha,Osun State Nigeria
Insomnia Dont know abt any sha.Lemme know if u do.
Job title IT ..........
Kids None that I know of
Living arrangements Modern
Most admired trait Sense of humour,Eyes and looks.
Number of sexual partners Hmmmm........What u know abt that!!!
Overnight hospital stays None.
Phobia Stuck in a confined place ..so not planning to go to Jail ever
Quote "Everybody is not the same,so don't expect what you give back from anybody,just do what you have to do as long as it makes you happy"
Religion Christian:Anglican/Methodist born, pentecostal worshipper.
Siblings - One Older Brother,Twin younger sisters - beauties and one Younger Brother
Time I usually awake Mon-Fri for work ..8am to 9am Sat-Sun ..Anytime
Unusual talent Am kind of like a Psychic,but nobody believes me ..LOL and best of all ... am unpredictable ..
Vegetable I refuse to eat A lot ..Mushroom,Brocolli,Spinach from Lubys .......
Worst habit Multitasking, Procastinating
X-rays One .. at my last job,one fool contracted Tuberculossis from only God knows and the State of Texas had to subject everybody to a TB test
Yummy foods I make Everything as long as I eat the food
Zodiac sign Capricorn Babyyyyyy!!!!.Jan 19th
I'm tagging everybody and if you aint a blogger, just post it in my comments as anonymous or else ...remember it's Friday the 13th

Lemme give you a joke for the weekend

There were 2 friends and they went drinking one evening,so on their way walking back,they stop to pee on the side of the road.So friend A looked up and was like WOW!!! ..look at that big soccer ball up in the sky,DAMN!!! thatz a big ass soccer ball up there.His friend(Friend B) looked up and started laughing and said,seems you as still as dumb as you were in high school.That is a big 120Watts bulb that was just turned on by someone that you are calling a soccerball.
The 2 friends started arguing back and forth and almost started fighting sef and lo and behold they heard someone coming down the road whistling to Sunny Ade's song "Sweet Banana".

So they called the 3rd guy and told him about the whole issue and their argument and proceed to ask the guy what he thinks.

The 3rd guy looked up and said, Hmmmmmm...... (he looked confused cos he kept staring) and he finally said, "guys, am as confused as you guys are cos I dont live around this area".

Hope you know what they were looking at? "THE MOON"

So which one of the guys is the biggest drunk outta the 3 guys?

You guys have a lovely weekend cos ama try to,taking a break from reading to have fun in Dallas and will be back to reading on Sunday

BLOGNIVERSARY!!!

2006-10-11T01:53:00.000-05:00

I just realized I started my blog exactly 1yr ago.Cant believe it's already a year,seems like I just started.

I remembered that faithful day at work,bored as hell and I decided to start doing a random search on google and I got directed to blogsville by mistake,cos I cant even remember what I searched for.I read a couple of blogs and decided to start my own blog that same day.You can view my first post HERE ,which by the way did not get a comment till June,2006.

My second post was on the 5th of May,2006,followed by my third post on 16th of May,2006 and that was when I got my first comment on my blog,which was by the one and only Original Iya Ijebu turned Tushed Lagos Girl.Buki thanks for starting the long string of comments on my blog and I also thank everybody that has visited my blog and has been leaving comments,appreciate it.

Like the saying goes "You meet people everyday and everywhere you go,but you only remember the ones that made an impact somewhat or somehow within you".I have learnt a lot of things from people I met through this blog which has helped me one way or the other to deal with life and some other aspects of life.From people sharing their experiences about issues,events etc has helped in a way or two and also always make me give thanks in all situations that I find myself.I just learnt how to cook Okassi and Ogbonna soup from blog friends.

Miguel I threw it down like I promise you o,this women aint got nuthn on us when it comes to holding t down in the Kitchen.I bet Ironchef is getting scared of getting a run for his money.LOL.

Check out my Okassi soup

Check out the Okassi soup with it;s soulmate,pounded yam

I really appreciate everybody that has visited my blog,with or without leaving a comment,cos your comments make me look forward to check my blog everytime and most of them actually make me laugh when am even in a bad mood.

Anyway the party is going down @ "CLUB DRINK@HOME"address is "25 BUY YA OWN BEER RD, YAOWNCHOPS TX 00419" with "DJ HOPE U HAVE A RADIO" in da house ....LOL

Wanted to blog about something else but I guess I needed to write something about my blogniversary.Anyway before I forget,if you guys did not follow the Latest "Survivor Nigeria" AKA "GUILDER ULTIMATE SEARCH" that just ended,my guy Hector Jobarteh won the money and the Car prize.

You guys have a wonderful rest of the week and here is a joke for you guys

Funny

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country and decides he will pick the least painful to spend his eternity. He goes to a German hell and asks, what do they do here? He is told, first they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.

The man does not like the sound of that at all so he moves on. He checks out the U.S. and Russian hell and many others. He discovers that they are similar to the German hell.

Then he comes to the Nigerian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, What do they do here?
He is told, first they put you in an electric chair for an hour, and they then lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. The Nigerian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day. But that is really the same as all the other hells, so why are there so many people waiting to get in? asks the man.

Because there is never electricity, so the chair does not work. The nails were paid for in naira but never supplied because of shortage of raw materials, so the bed is comfortable to sleep on. And the Nigerian devil used to be a civil servant so, he comes in signs the time and goes back home for private business.

Fathers Knows Best

A young boy had just gotten his driver's license and inquired of his father, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son. "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut and we'll talk about the car."

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, "Son, I've been real proud. You brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm real disappointed you haven't gotten your hair cut."

The young man paused a moment then said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair and there's even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair."

To this his father replied, "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?"

GistIII

2006-10-04T00:48:00.000-05:00

I did not know people like gist this much o,mehn everytime I read a comment on the last post I just smile and you guys comments always make my day a lil' bit enjoyable at work.I actually tried to put up this post lastnite and the damn thing disappeared after I had typed like 20 lines,I was so pissed that I just went to bed.

I do apologise for keeping you guys in limbo.Work is kicking my butt coupled with reading for some exams that am trying to take,but I know all is well in Jesus name.

Anyway lemme continue with the gist that started the riot on my comment page.LOL

I got back to KA's house and AF was already there and KA actually thought she was there to see me,cos TA was not home all the while.KA still at this point does not know what is happening,so I sat down with everybody to watch the movie that everybody was watching and she just kept looking at me.(She later told me she was trying to read the expressions on my face).

KA decided we should go and eat out,cos I told him i was kinda feeling hungry.There is this joint in Ibadan called "Iya Ope",mehn the woman sells the meanest rice and stew I have ever had.So KA and his Girlfriend got in my car and I was about to start the car when KA grabbed the car keys from me and ask where AF is.I told him I will explain everything to him on our way,cos I know KA could be a lil' crazy atimes.Well KA refused to go anywhere till I told him everything from when I first dropped her off.KA was so angry that he caused a scene and wanted to chase her out of the house,but I had to restrain KA.AF was so embarassed cos KA was asking her about everything right in front of everybody in their house that day.

Like I said in my last post,AF thought I had already told everybody about the whole thing,so that was why she decided to come down there.She actually thought since it is definately going to be over between us,she might as well hang with TA,cos there were some benefits from dating TA(Sugar Daddy).What AF did not know is that I actually broke-up with her that same day I dropped her with her friend off back in June and was just getting some all the while till it lasts.

Anyway I avoided AFs calls for likr 3months cos I know she was scared of talking to me face to face.When we finally got to see each other and talk,AF told me she was so confused and scared of me for not saying anything from the time I dropped her off at the house in June till December and I told her that I decided not to say anything and go along with the ride because she was bold enough to actually ask me to drop her off at her Sugar Daddy's house.

AF still believe that I have not forgiven her till today,but I always tell her I forgave her that same day that I dropped her off at the house.AF is in london now and we talk once in a while.AF is a great girl and beautiful as well,infact this is her picture .

This incident actually made not to trust girls for a long time and the rest of my college days was spent as a full time hit and run man,but I guess I later grew out of it.

A lil' Humour to make you smile

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. (Don't ask why or how, it just happens...)

God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter."

With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.

God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

Proverbs From the First Grade...

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to fill in the rest. Here's what the kids came up with:

1. Better to be safe than... punch a 5th grader.
2. Strike while the... bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before... daylight savings time.
4. Never underestimate the power of... termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but... how?
6. Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.
7. No news is... impossible.
8. A miss is as good as a... Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog... math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you... will stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust... me.
12. The pen is mightier than... the pigs.
13. An idle mind is... the best way to relax.
14. Where there is smoke, there's... pollution.
15. Happy is the bride who... gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is... not much.
17. Two is company, three's... The Musketeers.
18. None are so blind as... Helen Keller.
19. Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.
20. If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.
21. You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box.
22. When the blind lead the blind... get out of the way.
23. There is no fool like... Aunt Edie.
24. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and... you have to blow your nose.

Check out my Home Office

Am off to bed now and actually had to struggle to finish typing this post.

Gist II

2006-09-26T01:36:00.000-05:00

Chie!!! my email box almost caught fire o,with all the comments on the last post.Mehn I did not know people like gist this much o.

New Jersey was cool except for Newark and Orange County looking like Ajegunle.Went to a Naija restaurant/Bar where I saw a couple of old Naija guys acting the fool.Can you imagine a middle age Ibo man in traditional outfit,with like 8 pieces of gold chains with big pendants that will put Pharell to shame around his neck,rings on all fingers and 2 studs in one ear and a cross pendant earring in the other ear.Mehn it was a trip sha.The wedding was good and I had fun as well cos,music was provided by a DJ,who played Oldies,all the Naija new songs and come and see people dancing with their Traditional outfits o.Saw friend I have not seen since we left secondary school(for my peeps who schooled in naija) and high school(for peeps who schooled here)

Anyway where was I.

So like the saying goes "everyday is for the thief,but one day is for the owner of the stolen property"

Let me give a quick intro and info about the house I dropped her and her friend off at.I have a very close friend and am going to call him KA.We started college together and he left for the UK during our 2nd year in college,but we still talk and he comes to Nigeria every xmas and we always hang out.I know his parents,all his brothers and they know me as well and my mum knows him as well.He has an older brother and am going to call him TA.

I ended the part I with dropping AF and her friend off and had to take off cos everybody at the house know me.Well the house I dropped them at was KA's brother TA's house.As at that time TA's wife was in the UK with their kid and TA was the only one at home.

Like I said I dropped them off and left and never mentioned anything to her about it,cos I was still a lil' bit surprised about the whole thing.Anyway I did my investigation and got information from some reliable sources(TA's gateman and housegirl),you know what the right tip can get you in naija.

Anyway to keep long story short,this incident happened in the month of June and KA came home in December.Everytime KA comes home and he is in town,he always stays in his brother TA's house.So one of KA's drivers dropped him off at my house early the next morning after he came in,had to take him around to run some errands and we later ended up at his house(TA's house).We were at the house gisting and the phone rang and I was the nearest person to the phone and was asked to pick up the phone.I picked it up and it was AF on the phone calling to ask about TA.I new she was the one as soon as I heard her voice and it took her some seconds to recognise my voice.She went silent on the phone for like a minute after she knew it was me and later got hold of herself.You know how women always want to play out everything and later want to turn everything on your head after they have been caught red-handed.

Apparently she thought I had told everybody what was going on,to which I had not mentioned anything,and my friend thought I had told her to call me to their house when I told him who was on the phone.She decided to brave it and come over,but I left before she got there to go shower and change clothes.

Wow am actually falling asleep on my laptop here,got to go sleep.Will finish the story 2morrow or day after.

Let me leave you guys with this real life joke that was sent to me by my brother.

A young Yoruba man(definately and ijebu man) walks into a bank in New York City
and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is
going to Lagos on a vacation, for two weeks, and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of
security for the loan, so the Yoruba man hands over the keys to a new brand
BMW 6 Series.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. The
yourba man produces the title and everything checks out.

The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the
yoruba man, for using an $80,000 BMW as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An
employee of the bank then drives the BMW into the bank's underground
garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the yoruba man returns, repays the $5,000 and the
interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are
very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out
very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked
you out and found that you are a successful business man. What puzzles
us is,why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Yoruba man replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car
for two weeks, and pay only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I
return?"
The bank employees watched as he pulls out of the garage, windows down
and
sunroof open. Juju music blasting from his car, as he pulled away.

THE GIST!!!

2006-09-21T23:59:00.000-05:00

I decided to update my blog because I will be off to New Jersey 2day for a wedding on Saturday,hope to see a couple of people I have not seen in a while.

The President and Vice president of the Ijebu Women Association has been urging me for the said gist,so I decided to put up this post.

I was in my 3rd year in college and was going out with this chic,I will call her AF.To give a lil' background on how the thingy we had started.AF's roommate,who I will call LR at the time was my very good friend before they became roommates.So one day I went to say hi to LR after a long time and met AF.I ended up gisting with AF the whole nite cos one of my friend who was trying to talk to LR went with me and while they were talking,I decided to gist with AF.

We gisted about everything and actually enjoyed each other's company and she even saw me off when I was leaving.Anyway to cut long story short,LR made a bet with me for N50 that I can't get AF to go out with me and I won the bet.

So on this fateful day after we have been dating for like 8months or there about,I was about to leave school and go home cos I was a lil' bit tired after classes and I decided to check her up in her room before going home.I met her with one of her friends in her room,told her I was on my way home.She then asked if I could drop her and her friend at one of the friend's Uncle's house somewhere in town.They got in the car and started giving me directions to the said uncle's house and when we got there I had to quickly drop them and leave cos everybody in the house including the security guards and the dogs know me very well.

Will have to conclude this story in PartII,cos I have to go pack for my trip and read for a test as well before I leave.Got to leave you with a joke though and a funny picture I saw.

Speedy Seniors

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit?" she asked. No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."

This is called a baby Jacuzzi

A lil' Some Some To Make Your Day.

2006-09-18T08:39:00.000-05:00

Still a little tied up with Work o.Most times I will seat to write something up and my brain will just shut down.Been busy at work as well that I can only read blogs and reply to some.
I actually have some topics I want to talk about,will try and put something up before the weekend.

Belle don't worry i will put up the story you requested on Miguel's blog.

A PASTOR AND POLICE IN NIGERIA

A Pastor was driving on the expressway when he met a team of MobilePolicemen (otherwise known as MOPOL), who quite naturally, wanted 'something'from him.

Since he was not prepared to play their games, they asked for his papers and having combed through everything without any offence with which to nail the 'stubborn' pastor, they now asked him to open the bonnet of his car.

A careful scrutiny of the engine number against what was on paper revealed that the letter 'U' was written in such a way that it could be mistaken for letter 'V'.

That was all the officer-in-charge needed to shout "stolen vehicle" !

Sensing trouble, even when he knew he committed no offense, the pastor called the OC to say he was a priest to which the officer replied:

"Please, leave that pastor thing...in any case, if you are indeed a pastor, then you must have a Bible in your car abi?, bring it."

The Pastor did as was commanded after which the officer now ordered: "Please read Matthew 5:25, 26 to me".

The incredulous Pastor opened to the recommended passage and read:

"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to a judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth; you will not get out until you have paid the last penny."

Haba!!! Na wa o!!!!

Bet you are all reaching for your bibles. Pretty comprehensive book, I must say.

Study it everyday please

Confessions of an Ijaw Kid

Little Diepriye came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Priye was a bit of a troublemaker.
He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Priye's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Priye, of course, thought he did.

Priye's mother wanted Priye to reflect on his behavior over the last year.
"Go to your room, Priye, and think about how you have behaved this year.

Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday." Little Priye by stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend,
Priye

Priye knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Priye. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you.
Your friend Priye

Priye knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.

Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an "OK "boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.
Priye

Priye knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Priye wrote a fourth letter.

Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please!
Thank you,
Priye

Priye by now knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.

Now, Priye was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Priye's mother thought her plan had worked, as Priye walked by, he looked very sad.
"Just be home in time for dinner," Priye's mother told him.

Priye walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Priye went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Priye bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Priye began to write his letter to God.

Letter 5
God,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!!!!!
The hit man.
Diepriye

Can u beat dat ???!!!

How to tell one African from another:

It comes as something of a surprise to many Africans
to discover that all Africans look the same to
non-Africans.

How do you tell a Nigerian from a Kenyan, for example;
and I am not talking about passports or clothing? Well
the easiest way, of course, is the name: For example
Ogunkoye can only be a Nigerian and Njoroge from
Kenya.

And so where do the Dunns come from? They are
certainly from Liberia or Sierra Leone. Surely,
everybody knows that the loud and cocky ones are the
West Africans; the brooding and sly ones are the North
and South Africans
respectively; the East Africans always say yes, even
when they disagree with you violently.

To be more specific, the Cameronians will borrow money
from you to buy Champagne; whilst the Ghanaians think
they invented politics.

The Congolese think they have the best music and the
best dancers; the Nigerians have a ! thing about
clothes; and the Ethiopians believe they have the most
beautiful women on God's earth.

Moroccans actually think they're French, and so do the
Burkinabes. Algerians just hate the French.

Sierra Leonians simply smile profusely; and Liberians
can't get over America. All East and South African
countries have the same national anthem, but the South
Africans sing it the best.

The South Africans have no hair; the Zambians and
Kenyans have prominent foreheads; the West Africans
have short memories and never learn from their
mistakes; the concept of order and discipline must
have been invented in East Africa; the words don't
exist in West Africa, especially in Nigeria.

When a cabinet minister is "caught with his hands in
the till," he commits suicide in Southern Africa; in
West Africa he's promoted after the next coup d'etat.

In athletics, the divisions are quite simple: from
800m to the marathon the East Africans hold sway; the
West Africans are only good at the sprints; and South
Africans can only sing.

But when it comes to football (soccer), the North and
West Africans dominate the lesser-skilled East and
South Africans.

BREAKING NEWS !!!

2006-09-13T16:29:00.000-05:00

Just had to let you guys know o.

Whitney Houston finally got the knock on the head and filed a legal seperation which is going to lead to a divorce from Bobby Brown.A lot of people have been waiting for this for a long time,cos Whitney was doing good until she met Bobby Brown,who in my opinion did not influence her but encouraged her to dive into drug abuse full time.

Read the news from HERE

AWOL 4 A MINUTE

2006-09-12T12:03:00.000-05:00

Been a little busy with work and some other things I am trying to do.I was actually thinking I will be able to finish the assignment(tag thingy )T-Minx gave me to do.

Was just able to get on my system at work cos part of the power in my building was down.The elevator was not working and I had to run up the stairs to the 7th floor and people were actually sitting down and resting on the stairs.I was out of breath by the time I got to the 7th floor too,cos I practically ran up the stairs.Note to self(Need to go to the gym more often now).Well the air was out and the systems were down for 2hrs.People were actually praying for the air not to come back on,cos they wanted to go home.

Anyway saw this joke and decided to put it on here along with the picture message as well.

"Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The
cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial.
The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of
the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather
fruits. The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten
apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the
fruits up your butt without any _expression on your face or you'll be
eaten." The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in
pain, so he was killed. The second one arrived and showed the king ten
berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that
this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...
and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed. The first
guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you
laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't
help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

You guys have a lovely week.

Survivor Nigeria

2006-09-06T08:38:00.000-05:00

Howdy,hope my Yankee peeps had a nice looooooooog holiday (Buki;s Benefit) and my other Peeps as well?

Been a little busy and have gotten a lil' blog freeze going on here,but just had to let you guys know about the survivor like thingy going on in Naija.One of my guys is participating -Hector Jobarteh.It is called the "GUILDER ULTIMATE SEARCH" .

So take a look at the site and you can vote for the guys on the show as well.

Take care,have a nice work week and hope to blog fully by the weekend.

Let me leave you guys with Some Pharmacist Jokes

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have
dinner with her parents. This being a big event,the
girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go
out and "do it" for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has
never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some
protection.

The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He
tells the boy everything there is to know about
protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the
family pack because he thinks he will be needing it, this being his first
time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's house
and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for
you to meet my parents,
come on in." The boy goes inside and is taken to the
dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers
to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in
prayer, with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no
movement from the boy. Finally,after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend
leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so
religious.
" The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a
pharmacist."

A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some
cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The
pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give
you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! They'll throw
both of us in jail and I'll lose my license."
Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her
husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife, and handed it to the
pharmacist.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, you
didn't tell me you had a prescription!"

Reasons To Date Naija Men

2006-09-01T08:10:00.000-05:00

1. He understands your accent.

2. He knows that when you suffix every sentence with 'now', its not a

command, e.g. "Come let's go now..."

3. When you guys go out, he pays and doesn't expect a refund of exactly

half!

4. He understands why you have to send money home - probably doing the same

himself!

5. He doesn't see your kid sister staying in your house as an

inconvenience/ cramping his style.

6. He doesn't think you should put your parents in a home.

7. He eats 'Gbegiri and Amala' and doesn't think it's 'yucky' or

'spicy'.In a nutshell, loves your cooking.

8. He gets your jokes.

9. The way he licks his ten fingers 'cos that Ogbono soup with Iyan hit da

spot, Oh Yes!!!

10. He has got his education or he got something going on.

11. He may be a baby daddy but he loves his kid and takes care of him.

12. He can have a bus load of conversation without him saying much 'cos

his momma taught him that.

13. He loves to see you shake that ass to Sir Shina Peters, the

original "Back That Ass Up" master.

14. He will settle an argument and say sorry while maintaining his man

status.

15. I am IN charge but he is THE charge, we understand that.

16. He knows where he is from. Living in NY does not mean you are from

NY.

17. He thinks you're so pretty without makeup.

18. He calls you native endearing names like "Nne" or "Omo"

19. He has respect [not to be confused with obedience] for his elders

important.

20. The way he gets embarrased and says "I beg e" when you compliment

him.

21. The way he says "I love you baby" - may be very fake yet sounds so

TRUE!

22. The way he eats meat with his bare hands... for some reason it is

sexy to me.

23. The way he calls you his wife in front of all his friends.

24. The way he says "Shey you get am" when he thinks you are not paying

attention, but you really are.

25. The way he knows that it is you calling and answers the phone "Hey

Baby!" without looking at the caller ID.

26. The way Naija men look when they are all decked out in native...

there is nothing sexier than a dark chocolate man in lace o!

27. Pronounces your name like say na im born you.

28. The way he flows from Ebonics to Pidgin English to Akata with ease.

29. He is just at home at your office picnic as he is at the Naija

reunion.

30. The very satisfied look on his face after eating one of your meals

and the way he glares at you while picking his teeth with the tooth pick,

and you both know that you are his next "meal".

31. He appreciates the art of yanshrolling when he sees one!

32. Keeps you from doing wahala by buying a stickshift vehicle he knows

U can't drive!

33. He saves you money on groceries a la "limited diet". Just cook the

stew and he'll figure the rest... Eba, Amala, Fufu or even plain old White

Bread!

34. No need for breast implants to impress am!

35. No need to go kill himself trying to maintain a six pack. He knows

u know big belle is sexy inside Agbada!

36. He knows to allow you like three hours to get ready for a party!

37. He will not complain when you waka with headful of rollers inside

house but quick to let you know that aint nothing sexy about that when

you want to go outside.

38. Her singing while doing housework is a classic reminder of wetin

you dey miss when you dey carry Akata woman!

39. His lunch (Rice, Beans, Dodo, complete with carefully selected

assorted meat) wey you pack for am na something u know sey im no go

wait to "Palam"(gobble up!) when him reach work

40. He thinks the small gap between your front teeth are actually

sexy!!!!

Finally; Cool Cos He Is Just A Naija Man Period!!!

So I am tagging all ya'll Nnes to put out Reasons to Date Naija or African Women

This is J-Lo's baby pic.So I guess she got it from her mama!!!

Mathematics Made Easy

2006-08-28T23:38:00.000-05:00

I used to believe I was good in solving problems until I saw answers to some problems by some scholars and I knew I got nothing on this kids.

A friend of mine just sent me this and I could not stop laughing and just had to Humour you guys.

Just Some Ramblings

2006-08-25T18:40:00.000-05:00

I was reading a post today about how our one and only Baba Iyabo,OBJ did a public showdown on my guy Eedris Abdulkareem at a function when he sang one of my best naija songs till date "Jaga Jaga". The amount of Illiteracy been shown by OBJ does not befit a Nation like ours.I remember when he came to houston and did a press conference,a nigerian guy asked him a question about the way things are getting worse in Nigeria and guess what ur President said,he told the guy to shut up and how can he be asking him that kind of question.

Firstly, with the intensity and rate at which we pride education in our country,why is it that the qualification to become the President Of Federal Republic of Nigeria is a High School Certificate Diploma? With the rate of scholars we have in the country,why are will still been ruled by people that did not go to school?I know a lot of people will be like,you don't have to be educated to be a leader ... right.I agree to that as well,but leading a Nation like Nigeria is more than been just a leader.

I saw a book about The Nigerian Government since our independence with one of my friend's dad and was looking at the names of people that has been in government since independence and found out that we still have the same people that governed us in the 60's still running the damn show in the year 2006.How can a nation progress or develop when the same people are still making decisions for us in 2006 the same way they were making it in 1966.

Men it saddens me when I read about issues in Nigeria.The post AYOKE did just made me remember stuffs i saw when i went back home in December. I have some friends in Nigeria that are always like things is getting better in Nigeria and I always tell them that the only reason you are enjoying in Nigeria is because you have a job and hang out with people that doing ok too.What is the ratio of people suffering in Nigeria compared to the people that are doing fine and how do you generally put yourself in the path of doing fine in Nigeria?Right now in Nigeria if you don't know someone that know someone,you can't get a job after wasting your life in school with all the strikes and everything.

I guess I should just stop here ..lemme leave you with a joke I saw somewhere.

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck had run over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and ... scroll down twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!" I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have a blessed weekend.

7 Reasons To Love Africa

2006-08-21T07:50:00.000-05:00

Why not just jump in the pool to pick the thing that dropped into the pool.

I wonder if trucks in Africa are built differently?

Is that a sheep behind the guy or a baby dressed in halloween custume?

Did you notice where the power pole is?

Does this look familiar to any one?

Is this English or another language?

Tell Me If This is Ridiculous Or Not

2006-08-17T18:11:00.000-05:00

"It’s choice – not chance – that determines your destiny". – Jean Nidetch

Yeah I had the interview and it went fine.I was actually surprised at myself,because I was cool and calm during the Interview.It was with 2 people,a lady and a man.The Lady said she actually like the way I was answering the questions,but the guy kept bringing up the fact that I have only been with the company for just a year,cos I think the other people that are interviewing for the post has been with the company for sometime now.Anyway thatz their cup of tea,I know if God has that plan for me,I will get it.

Anyway back to the post for today.I know most of us always shout at the ridiculous prices of insurance premium and atimes you end up just donating money to the insurance companies without filing a claim and when you file a claim,they increase your premium.Have you ever thought about the insurance companies as someone's business and they are trying to make a living as well.

Do you know the insurance companies has what they call the "STELLA AWARDS OF INSURANCE CLAIMS",just like Grammy awards?Well they actually dd.Let me go ahead and share a couple of claims that were paid out by insurance companies and these are the winners for the "STELLA AWARDS OF INSURANCE CLAIMS" for 2003 and 2004 respectively.

2003

The winners are from the 8th place position to 1st place:

#8: Stephen Joseph of San Francisco, Calif. Joseph runs a non-profit group whose goal is to ban the "trans fats" used in many processed foods and which are indeed very unhealthy. But to help gain publicity for his cause, Joseph, an attorney, chose one food that uses trans fats -- Oreo cookies -- and sued Kraft Foods for putting the stuff in the snack. The resulting publicity over "suing Oreos" was so intense that Joseph dropped the suit after just 13 days. He never even served the suit on Kraft, showing that he had no interest in actually getting the case heard in court. What real cases got pushed aside during his abuse of the courts to get publicity for his pet organization?

#7: Shawn Perkins of Laurel, Ind. Perkins was hit by lightning in the parking lot Paramount's Kings Island amusement park in Mason, Ohio. A classic "act of God", right? No, says Perkins' lawyer. "That would be a lot of people's knee-jerk reaction in these types of situations." The lawyer has filed suit against the amusement park asking unspecified damages, arguing the park should have "warned" people not to be outside during a thunderstorm.

#6: Caesar Barber, 56, of New York City. Barber, who is 5-foot-10 and 270 pounds, says he is obese, diabetic, and suffers from heart disease because fast food restaurants forced him to eat their fatty food four to five times per week. He filed suit against McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's and KFC, who "profited enormously" and asked for unspecified damages because the eateries didn't warn him that junk food isn't good for him. The judge threw the case out twice, and barred it from being filed a third time. Is that the end of such McCases? No way: lawyers will just find another plaintiff and start over, legal scholars say.

#5: Cole Bartiromo, 18, of Mission Viejo, Calif. After making over $1 million in the stock market, the feds made Bartiromo pay it all back: he gained his profits, they said, using fraud. Bartiromo played baseball at school, but after his fraud case broke he was no longer allowed to participate in extracurricular sports. Bartiromo clearly learned a lot while sitting in federal court: he wrote and filed his own lawsuit against his high school, reasoning that he had planned on a pro baseball career but, because he was kicked off the school's team, pro scouts wouldn't be able to discover him. His suit demands the school reimburse him for the great salary he would have made in the majors, which he figures is $50 million.

#4: Priest David Hanser, 70. Hanser was one of the first Catholic priests to be caught up in the sex abuse scandal. In 1990, he settled a suit filed by one of his victims for $65,000. In the settlement, Hanser agreed not to work with children anymore, but the victim learned that Hanser was ignoring that part of the agreement. The victim appealed to the church, asking it to stop Hanser from working near children, but the church would not intervene. "It's up to the church to decide where he works," argued the priest's lawyer. When the outraged victim went to the press to warn the public that a pedo priest was near children, Hanser sued him for the same $65,000 because he violated his own part of the deal -- to keep the settlement secret. The message is clear: shut up about outrageous abuse, or we'll sue you for catching us.

#3: Wanda Hudson, 44, of Mobile, Ala. After Hudson lost her home to foreclosure, she moved her belongings to a storage unit. She says she was inside her unit one night "looking for some papers" when the storage yard manager found the door to her unit ajar -- and locked it. She denies that she was sleeping inside, but incredibly did not call for help or bang on the door to be let out! She was not found for 63 days and barely survived; the formerly "plump" 150-pound woman lived on food she just happened to have in the unit, and was a mere 83 pounds when she was found. She sued the storage yard for $10 million claiming negligence. Even though the jury was not allowed to learn that Hudson had previously diagnosed mental problems, it found Hudson was nearly 100 percent responsible for her own predicament -- but still awarded her $100,000.

#2: Doug Baker, 45, of Portland, Ore. Baker says God "steered" him to a stray dog. He admits "People thought I was crazy" to spend $4,000 in vet bills to bring the injured mutt back to health, but hey, it was God's dog! But $4,000 was nothing: he couldn't even take his girlfriend out to dinner without getting a dog-sitter to watch him. When the skittish dog escaped the sitter, Baker didn't just put an ad in the paper, he bought display ads so he could include a photo. His business collapsed since he devoted full time to the search for the dog. He didn't propose to his girlfriend because he wanted the dog to deliver the ring to her. He hired four "animal psychics" to give him clues to the animal's whereabouts, and hired a witch to cast spells. He even spread his own urine around to "mark his territory" to try to lure the dog home! And, he said, he cried every day. Two months in to the search, he went looking for the dog where it got lost -- and quickly found it. His first task: he put a collar on the mutt. (He hadn't done that before for a dog that was so "valuable"?!) After finding the dog, he sued the dog sitter, demanding $20,000 for the cost of his search, $30,000 for the income he lost by letting his business collapse, $10,000 for "the temporary loss of the special value" of the dog, and $100,000 in "emotional damages" -- $160,000 total. God has not been named as a defendant.

And the winner of the 2003 True Stella Awards: The City of Madera, Calif. Madera police officer Marcy Noriega had the suspect from a minor disturbance handcuffed in the back of her patrol car. When the suspect started to kick at the car's windows, Officer Noriega decided to subdue him with her Taser. Incredibly, instead of pulling her stun gun from her belt, she pulled her service sidearm and shot the man in the chest, killing him instantly. The city, however, says the killing is not the officer's fault; it argues that "any reasonable police officer" could "mistakenly draw and fire a handgun instead of the Taser device" and has filed suit against Taser, arguing the company should pay for any award from the wrongful death lawsuit the man's family has filed. What a slur against every professionally trained police officer who knows the difference between a real gun and a stun gun! And what a cowardly attempt to escape responsibility for the actions of its own under-trained officer.

2004

The winners are from 5th place to 1st place and there was actually a tie for 5th place:

5TH PLACE(TIED): Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

5TH PLACE (TIED): 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5TH PLACE (TIED): Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4TH PLACE: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3RD PLACE: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an argument.

2ND PLACE: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1ST PLACE: This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motorhome. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motorhome. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreational vehicles.

I am pretty sure most people will be like this can't be true,but it is and I was like this is crazy when I first saw the claims as well.So although the insurance companies get some people with their money,they actually pay it back in some ways as well.Could we say this has to do with the law of "KARMA"-what u sow,you shall reap?

Interview

2006-08-16T18:23:00.000-05:00

Eeewoo!!! ..Just got an email from my Manager that I will be having an interview tomorrow with 2 Managers from another department for a position from that department that I applied for like 4 weeks ago.

Which kain rush rush interview be this,less than 24hrs.I have to go home and read up on my interview notes this nite and get my lucky shirt and shoes ready.I am surprised they picked me for the interview o,cos I just clocked 1yr with the company last month.Anyway don't know what will happen sha,abeg pray for ya guy o.

Weekend trip

2006-08-14T17:35:00.000-05:00

Phew!!! Just got a break since I stepped into this place called "office" and "workplace" for my peeps who have been outside Naija for so long.

I got back Sunday evening from the wedding in MD and did not know I was that tired until I got up the next morning to go to work.Almost called in but I remembered I still have plans for the rest of my vacation days unless God bless me with a better and more paying job before then.AMEN O

Anyway the wedding I went for was interesting and was fun as well cos I got to see a lot of my family,as in my aunties that I have not seen for sometime and also saw a couple of friends I have not see in a while.The good thing about most of the weddings you go to in the USA is that you get to see friends,schoolmates(Primary,Secondary and University and Middle school,High school and College for my peeps thats been long gone from home,family friends and even cousins that you have not seen in a while or that you did not even know is in the US.

The only thing I did not like about the whole trip was that I had to get to the airport at 6am for a 9am flight and it took me 1hr 13mins to go through security after I had already checked in online just because some crazy and ignorant people decided that their life suck so they need to kill themselves along with some other people.I got to the airport and their was this double line extending out of the airport building unto the sidewalk of the building and people were been searched,shoes been put in some kind of scanner and the general one ..No liquids.

Finally made it to MD and went to eat at a Nigerian restaurant,forgot the name,but it is located in an Hispanic area of the town.We got there and met people that have been waiting for over an hour to get their order and almost decided to leave,but got our order after 30mins.From there rushed back to the hotel to change and go for the engagement which was by the way scheduled for 5.30pm which was again confirmed by the groom when I got to MD,but did not start till after I got there at 7.30pm.The engagement was fun,just like the normal yoruba engagement,making fun of the groom and the MCs collecting money before doing any small thing or before performing any small request.The engagement finally ended like around 11.30pm and I was planning to hit Baltimore for some club time from Laurel,but unfortunately my aunt(bride's mum) caught me and I had to help move all the bride's engagement returns in my car to her house.So I actually ended up not able to make it to Baltimore that nite,because we did not finish with the moving and clearing of the hall till like almost 12.30am and it wont make sense driving 30mins to Baltimore at that time and my peeps in Baltimore were even not picking up the phone.. only God knows what and where they were then,can't blame them though ..Thank God it is friday.

I decided to go to bed and thought it was a joke when I stopped at like 5 gas stations to get myself a 6pack of heineken to go relax with at the hotel and could not find beer in any of the gas stations.I was later told the next day by a friend that you can only get beer at liquor stores in MD and not even in grocery stores too.

Anyway the wedding went all smooth and it was really cool.The pastor got the church service out of the way as quickly as possible,even with the sermon and everything.The reception was held in DC which is only possible up North of the US.Having the church wedding in one state and the reception in another state,who born u for this side,you might probably be the only one at the reception except you have some homies in the other state.

The reception was the normal Naija reception with both families trying to outdo themselves on who can dance and spray dollar bills the most o.Well you kinda get carried away listening to the music by the band and when you see people dancing,because I also ended up spraying the couple and a few of my aunties sha.The reception was nice and everything,I was actually a bit busy trying to get some good pictures on the couple and get my grub on as well.It was nice to see my cousins and their friends trying to get their Mack on a couple of chics at the wedding party and it actually brought back some good old memories when you are trying to Mack down chics at wedding and stuffs.

I left the wedding party around 11.30pm and it was almost over anyway,because the couple already left but the families were still getting their dance on.I went to the hotel to change and drove like 30mins to Baltimore with one of my friends to go to a club in downtown Baltimore,think it's called something louge.I heard it is owned by an Ethopian and you have different rooms inside with couches and love seats everywhere and a dancefloor on one side as well.Was at the club for like an hour and was thankful to God that we decided to change our minds about parking in a building's parking lot.One dude that parked there got his car towed just when we were coming out of the club and he was literally trying to chase the towtruck.Left the club finally and the GPS in the rental car took me round downtown before I finally found my way back to I-95 to drive back to Beltsville like around 2.30am.

Left MD like around 1.30pm to go to Reagan Washington airport and was like 26mins late dropping the car off at the rental place because of traffic and the chic incharge of return vehicles was trying to charge me for another day,but got it resolve by one of the customer service people.The airport was not that crowded as I expected and going through the security check was not an hassle like it was when leaving Houston on Friday,but there was still a lot of security everywhere.

I have a couple of nice shots that I will be sharing on my photoblog as soon as I let the couple see them first.The trip was nice although it seems it was so short.

Humour

2006-08-06T13:43:00.000-05:00

You know the days when you are at work and you kinda feel like what are you doing here.I was just bored at work one day and looked out of the window and the scene reminded me of Lagos a lil bit,so I took the picture.

I got this jokes from one of my friends and could not stop laffing and decided to share it with the bloggers and see if they will humour you guys as well.

You might be a Naija Child of the 80's if:

The opening of your school was ever "postponed indefinitely due to
circumstances beyond their control."
You remember thinking that the 1 dollar to 4 Naira exchange rate was TOO
high.
You didn't know that the name GRINGORY was actually the Naija
(mis)pronunciation of GREGORY.
You remember collecting comic inserts from "bazooka joe" bubble gum.
You know what to respond when someone says "Story, Story" ... "once upon a
time"
You thought deodorant was just another perfume you could choose to use, or
not, depending on your mood.
You know all the words to the song "Sweet Mother".
You never thought that the "Ghana go home" crusade was proof that Naija
would always be better off than its neighbors.
For the ladies, you've actually read over 40 Mills & Boons or Harlequin
Romance novels and didn't notice any similarities.
You know who Barbara Soki is.
You still use "blue" when washing your white clothes.

You know you've been here (in the United States) too long when you say:

"Truck" instead of "Lorry"
"SUV" instead of "Jeep"
"Wuz up" instead of "How far now"
"Hood" instead of "Bonnet"
"Trunk" instead of "Boot"
"Stop making fun of me" instead of "Stop yabbing me" or "Stop abusing me"
"Gas station" instead of "Petrol Station"
"Fries" instead of "Chips"
"Big Mac, Chicken McGrill, * Pounder" instead of just plain "Burger"
"Crispy" instead of "Cripsy"
"Fireworks/Firecrackers" instead of "Banga"
"Soda/Pop" instead of "Minerals"
"Laundry Detergent" instead of "OMO"
"Dryer" instead of "Hang it in the sun"
"Service" instead of "Sa veece" (e silent)
"Cinder Block" instead of "Bricks"
"Concrete" instead of "Cement"
"Peugeot" instead of "Pe-geot"
"Trash Can" instead of "Dozbin"
"Shower" instead of "Bath"
"Power is out" instead of " NEPA has taken light"
"Traffic Light" instead of "Yellow Fever"
"Cab" instead of "Taxi"
"Security Guard" instead of "Gateman"
"Cafeteria" instead of "Canteen"
"Cookie" instead of "Biscuit" (Cabin)
"Pants" instead of "trouser/trousee"
"underwear" instead of "pant"
"VCR" instead of "Video"
"Movie" instead of "Film"
"Extensions" instead of "Attachment" (Hair)
"Lotion" instead of "Cream"
"Cornrows" instead of "weave"
"Weave" instead of "Weave-on"
"Suitcase" instead of "Box"
"High school" instead of "Secondary School"
"Grade school" instead of "Primary school"
"Wifebeater" instead of "singlet"
"Sneakers" instead of "Canvas"
"Soccer" instead of "Football"
"Motorcycle" instead of "meshin",
College" instead of "yunivasiti"
"Car" instead of "moto"
"Flipflops" instead of "silpas"
"Nail polish" instead of "Cotex"
"Braids" instead of "Bob Mali"
"gum" instead of "chin-gum"
"smoke" instead of "tab"
"Shower" instead of "Baaf"
"Hallway" instead of "Corridoor"
"Living/Sitting Room" instead of "Paalor
"Balcony" instead of "Varanda"
"Ballpoint" instead of "Buyro" or "Beek"
"VW Bug" instead of "Bittle"
"Arithmetic" instead of "Mats"
"Abroad" instead of "Oversis"
"Menthol" instead of "Veeks"
"Boss" instead of "Oga"
"Manners" instead of "Home training"
"Circle" instead of "roundabout"
"Apartment building" instead of "blok of flats"
"Flashlight" instead of "touch"
"Hoe ( not the digging instrument )" instead of "Ashawo"
"Knock knees" instead of "k leg"
"Eye infection" instead of "Appolo" ... cureable only by flushing eyes out
with sugar water

A politician in Nigeria was being interviewed many years ago.
Interviewer: "Nigeria doesn't have many minerals, does it?"
Politician: "Of course we do! We have coke, sprite, 7-up...."

Hope you guys had a nice weekend.

Not Too Proud Of Me In This Aspect

2006-08-01T18:00:00.000-05:00

I woke up today and did not actually know what directed my train of thoughts to this issue about Nigerian Languages.
I started thinking about how many kids in the generation after us actually know how to speak their parent's language compared to other African countries.I actually know one of my friends sister's sons that can't speak their parents language just because the parents did not introduce them to it and it is only the last born that only understand the language because the grandmum was around when she was born and growing up.

Reminiscing about the issue for a while,I started thinking about our generation as well and start to wonder how many people can read and write in their native language even if you can speak and understand it.I can't write in my native language and can only read a couple of words which might take a while for me to really be able pronounce it very well,which I am not proud of anyway.

I tried thinking of where to place the blame on,is it our parents,the primary and high school went to(for people that schooled in Nigeria) or we ourselves for not been interested.For example,we were never for one day taught any Nigerian language at the primary school that I attended,but been bombarded with enough French classes and some Latin classes and on getting to high school,it was crazy.I remember in JSS1,I was the class captain and out yoruba teacher was one mean ass chic like this and I mean she was a chic...fine,curvaceous and sexy thang.She almost beat the living daylight out of me for flunking all the test we had then.I could not even read in yoruba.Well after struggling through JSS with help from classmates because they were looking for favor me excluding their names from noise makers and sort,got to SSS and the principal announced that,every student has to choose a Nigerian language to learn through SS1 to SS3 and you can not choose your own Native language.So if you are a yoruba,you have to choose either Igbo or Hausa.I was almost questioning God why he did this to me again since I thought I already escaped that phase in life.

Well I ended up choosing Igbo,because my deskmate'mum was Igbo and his dad is yoruba and he has a yoruba name,but understands Igbo very well.So both of us ended up choosing Igbo and that was when I found out that Igbo is not that had to write as yoruba is,because in yoruba you have to keep putting all the signs on top pf the letters for people to actually know what you are talking about.Anyway I ended up getting As in Igbo all through my SSS,God bless Mr Okoronkwo.

With all that said,I just thought about it today,because this past Saturday at a friend's house warming party,we were just discussing about sending our kids to Nigeria or Ghana for high school experience,because of the crazy high school system I think in my opinion they have in this country.

A couple of questions popped up in my head that,what if your kids now take an interest in your native language and comes to you for help,either to read or write,what will you do? Or what do you say to making sure your kids learn your native language and speak it to them as well.

Safety In Nigeria

2006-07-27T14:57:00.000-05:00

I first learnt about PDP Chieftain Funsho Williams assassination on http://diamondhawk.blogspot.com/ 's blog and was not that surprise. The rate at which people are been assassinated in Nigeria is so high that when I am going to Nigeria,I don't even let my mum know until am there, cos she will always try to convince me not to come.

The killings in Naija is mostly because of Power,money and relationships(women),which is the same all over the world,but it is very easy to assassinate someone in Naija,even an important person and get away with it.

For example,Late Chief Bola Ige was assassinated while he was still the Attorney General of the Federal Republic of Nigeria under the administration of our one and only Obasanjo.My house to Chief Bola Ige's house in Bodija in Ibadan is like 5mins walk and I still saw him with his wife like 45mins before he was killed.
So we should ask ourselves how can someone like the Attorney General of a country,who is suppose to be the 3rd in command to the president be killed like a fowl and all the people arrested were released and nothing came out of the investigation till today.Chief Omisore,the then deputy governor of Osun state was arrested for the assassination and he later won an election to become a senator while he was still in prison.He was later released and served as a senator and the witness that confessed about the killing is no where to be found today to testify against him.
We also have a lot of people that has been killed just because of power and money and which this crazy administration we have as our government definitely know about.Like in 2002,the PDP chairman of Rivers State,Chief Dikibo Marshall Harry was killed just because he decided to oppose Peter Odili running for a second term.Peter Odili is Obasanjo's godson,he is the one soliciting for Obasanjo with the Oil companies.Obasanjo's third term campaign is been backed by the Oil companies.

Imagine this,2 of my cousins were killed during the last election just cos they were running for counselorships posts in their different local government and I have a friend here that his Uncle left here to go and run for a chairmanship seat in Naija and the guy was almost killed,the guy is limping now cos he was shot in the leg and was flown back here for a surgery cos he was told in Naija that they had to amputate the leg.If you ask the guy about Naija now,the guy will tell you Naija is visiting and America is home.

I am still trying to figure out how people survive in Nigeria,because you will still see some people earning just N7000 monthly.With that kind of salary,why wont the person do anything for money if he gets the chance to.I was in traffic on Allen one day and saw this old man selling recharge cards for cellphones,somehow I just felt compasionate towards the man and called him.I asked him how big is his family and he told me he has 5kids with his wife making 7 of them.The only job he has is selling the recharge cards which I am sure he is getting from a middle man who is getting a commision off the sales.How much can he making to sustain his family?I actually gave the guy all the naira I had on me that day and the guy did not believe it cos he was just like why am I giving him money.

I love Nigeria with all my heart o,because Nigeria made me who I am today in terms of morals and generally how to view life,but when I think about things that happen on a daily basis in that country,I shiver.Everytime I go to Naija,the only way of surviving or relating is to change ur attitude as soon as u land in naija.At a point in time my brother looked at me one day and was like am I sure I stay in the US or I actually stay in Ghana cos the way I act when am in Naija scares him.The reason for doing that is just to let people know that you can not be swindled or assaulted.

I worked for the first Internet Service provider in Nigeria after my NYSC and actually thought I was getting paid then,cos u know freash from college,young with no responsibility yet and living life in Port Harcourt.....people that have been to Port Harcourt will know what am talking about.I went to the company to just look around and got talking to people working there now cos I still have a couple of my collegues then still working there and found out that the people doing the same job I was doing 4-5 yrs ago are still been paid the same salary that I was been paid back then.Can you imagine with all the inflation in Nigeria within the 4-5yrs.

What I always tell people is all we can do is keep praying for naija and hope for the best which is not in sight any time soon as I can see sha.Like one of my friends said that a pastor said it has gotten to stage that you have to start praying for yourself and your family instead of praying for Nigeria.

Voodoo

2006-07-24T22:38:00.000-05:00

Men I got this video from a friend and could not help but put it on here.I laffed for only God knows when.

I hope u find it funny.

Couper Decaler

2006-07-21T08:55:00.000-05:00

couper decaler

This is the original video of the song the chic on Onada 's blog was dancing to.

GETTING MARRIED

2006-07-20T23:10:00.000-05:00

Hmmm..... how many people think of marriage and it scares them? I think guys are always scared when their wedding day is getting near than gurls.I have talked to a few grooms before their wedding day or on the D-day and I find it amusing when I see a lil' bit doubt on their face.
'The only reason they are scared when it is nearing the wedding day is just that they know that they are not single anymore after the wedding,can't do all the stuffs they use to do while single."

This one of my aunt's daily outburst when she is talking to me about getting married.To some extent I agree with her,cos definately after getting married,you are not only responsible for just yourself,but for 2 people now and when you start having some rugrats running around the house,then your responsibility gets bigger.
I always tell her that it is not about getting married,but getting married to the right person at the right time,cos if it is you can just pick someone and just get married to the person.

I remember my last 2 yrs in college in Naija,I was staying at home and going to school from home.You know how it is in naija,when u are in college u move ur ass to school so u can have all the free moving around time you want.Well I decided to stay at home with my mum cos she was the only one at home then and all my siblings left for school and I was the only one in school in the same town we stay in.So it was just me and my mama at home,so it was like I was her husband o.Normally I always get home late,like getting home around 1am,cos I had to hang out now.I remember my mum won't go to bed until I get home and I always tell she should.We were always arguing like husband and wife and I remember she always seize my car keys when I come home really late.

When I think back to those days,it's as if we were a couple cos she is always nagging me and she always try as much as possible to swat all my plans of getting my groove on then.Thank God cellphones were not in existence as it is now then,she would have been blowing up my phone scather.Anyway that was a mother-son love and protecting thingy,which I later realized.

Coming back to guys been scared when it gets closer to the day they will be loosing their freedom.One of my friend was getting married one time like that and i had to drive him to the registry cos he was running late and this guy could not go into the registry until he had downed almost a bottle of hennessey.

Anyway I need to go to bed now.Let me know ur views on this issue.

Check this video animation out

http://www.americancomedynetwork.com/FLASH/soldiers.htm

2006-07-14T16:06:00.000-05:00

How r u guys,hope aiight? Am sorry that I have not been updating my blogs,It's just that work has been terrible for the past 3 weeks and all I could do is just read blogs and update mu photblog in the middle of the nite.
I promise to put something up this weekend and to always update as soon as I can.

Have a nice weekend cos I am planing to.

2006-07-06T00:42:00.000-05:00

Can you imagine that after spending one of my most horrible day at work all day today looking at the time waiting to leave for my comfortable bed and I got home and can't even sleep.

I had a lil' too much to drink on tuesday (4th of July) cos one of my friend had a barbecue party and I woke up feeling like I have just been ran over by a truck.Damn it is one of those days that u wish u r ur own boss,men I need to hurry up and get to that stage.Well made it thru the day without breaking someone's head except for one old white fool asking why I left England to come to the US cos the fool thot I have an english accent,men I almost hung up the phone on him.

Well I got a joke from one of my friends and it made me laff a bit.Ok read it and maybe it will be funny to u too.

Very pathetic story...I am still at a loss what my feelings are at the end of this story!

This is a true and very moving story. How do things like this keep happening? please read on

A certain rich businessman had a beautiful daughter, who fell in Love with a guy who was a cleaner.
When the girl's father came to know about their love, he did not Like it at all, and so began to protest about it.

Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes For a happy future. The girl's father started searching

for the two Lovers but could not find them.

At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home in A local newspaper. Her father said "If you both come

back I will Allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you love each other Truly."

So in this way, their love won and they returned home.

The couple went to town to shop for the wedding dress.

He was Dressed in white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the Other Side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and he died

On the spot. The girl lost her senses. It was only after sometimes that She recovered from her shock. The funeral and cremation was the very Next day because he died horribly.

Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in which she saw an Old lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the
blood stains of the Guy from her daughter's dress as soon as possible. But her mother Ignored the dream.

The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it.

Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in Fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash The Clothes which have blood stains immediately.

She washed the stains but some remained. Next night she again had The same dream she again washed the stains but some
still remained.
Next night she again had the same dream and this time the old lady Gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain, or else

somethingTerrible will happen. This time the girl tried her best to wash the Stains, And the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained.

She was very tired.

In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, Someone knocked the door. When she opened the door she
saw the same old Lady of her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted.

The old lady woke her up... and gave her a blue box, which Shocked the girl. She asked "What is this...?"

The old lady replied...

" New Improved Blue Omo Washing powder...

it will remove all stubborn stains!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ..

....

.....

.......

........

...........

I know how you are feeling now... But don't look at me like that ... I'm also hunting for the idiot who mailed this to me!

Please go back to work , no vex

Men I am starting to feel hungry now and freak it is 12:55am,well think I still have some Tostitos chips and salsa and probably get a cup of ice cream as well.Make I go get my grub on and go to sleep cos I have to wake up in the morning to go make some money for one fool that pays me some small change,need to start making the money for myself soon jere.
Abeg if u get any business ideas,abeg share o cos e be like say na brain freeze get me from thinking about business opportunities.

2006-06-28T00:26:00.000-05:00

How many people remember those yellow fever cops that jump into your car when you try to drop someone off on the island or around apapa and you have to pay them some money or bribe them before they let you go o?

I remember this incident when I had to go drop my cousin on the island right by the third mainland bridge.Fortunately for me one of my crazy friends in crime at that time was with me.So immediately my cousin got down,the yellow fever guy jumped into the car and said I should move forward and park the car very well,but as a mammal and a skull(will tell u abt those names and lingua later)that has experience ikwerre and ijaw boys demostration when hijacking bus drivers in Port harcourt.I just kept driving and got on 3rd mainland bridge stopped in the middle of the bridge and told the yellow fever guy to get out of the car.He was trying to resist and we told him we will beat him and throw him into the ocean and he was actually scared.We ended up leaving him there o.

Men when i think about how law enforcement agents in naija extort people,I actually don't pity them when people beat them or deal with them.I have had a couple of brushes with them while in naija and even still did when in naija last december.

What is your opinion about it?

2006-05-16T18:04:00.000-05:00

I just ran into a couple of photoblogs and was highly impressed with the photos I saw on there.It actually inspire me a lot and I think I will have to start my on own photoblog,just need to pray for time.
Hmm...I think I should have a couple of good photos in my collections ...will check when I get home.

2006-05-05T16:50:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I was granted time to write anything on this blog,cos my ogas try as much as possible not to give me time."My ogas are actually Job,school,faaji etc".Anyway I think I have to start documenting stuffs up now,the only thing is just that you have to know what you document o,cos u never know who might stumble on ur blog one day.Me I have seen people breaking each other's heads cos of what one said about the other o.

2005-10-11T15:42:00.000-05:00

Just heard this joke from my boss and I think it is damn funny.
There was this billionaire that had so much money and was just bored and was trying to look for something to excite him.So he got 2 dozen of alligators and put them in his swimming pool and said anybody that could swim from one end of the pool to another will be able to ask for anything from him.
So a lot of people were just standing beside the pool debating on what to do and they just heard a splash in the pool and saw a man swiming across and the man made it to the other side just as the last alligator was about to snap his leg off.The man got up and was breathing heavily,the billionaire ran up to man and ask him to what he wants.The man was brething so heavily and he said he needed sometime to cool down.After he was able to cool down,the billionaire ask him again to decide on what he wants.

The man said he just "want to know who pushed him into the pool?"

After much investigation,they later found out that it was his wife that pushed him into the pool.What do u think about that?

2005-10-11T12:32:00.000-05:00

When I was growing up,family values was the first and main issue that parents make kids know and abide by and that is what is pushing a lot of people till today to great heights and to been successful in whatever they do.

Like one of my Professors use to say,"family values in the world is long gone with the '80s generation".He analysed the family values issues to use with a circular type chart,that for example a child is surrounded first by immediate family,the community,the school,then the church and then the law.He said the child already broke through circular covering of the families,the community,school and the church and it is only the law that is still keeping the child in check as of today.

I agreed with him because back in the days,we were so afraid of our families,elderly people in our immediate community,our school teachers and the church executives,and all that always keep us in check when breaking the law or misbehaving,but nowadays parents dont even have time for their kids,that they cant even control them and it is only the law that is controlling the society now.

I kinda wonder what will happen if the circular covering of the law breaks.Well my Professor believe that is when the world will come to an end.

I believe we need to take the responsibilties of discipline back to homes by teaching kids family values which will literally make us appreciate the value of life.

Let me know what you think.